Woman lies to 'entitled' family about buying a home after they made plans to make it the 'family' house. AITA?
Woman doesn't want intrusive family to take over her country home so she lies about buying it.
Low_Muffin_292283 writes:
A few years ago, my husband and I told our relatives that we wanted to buy a country house by the lake. In our country, almost everyone lives in apartments, so our families were very happy. My mother immediately decided that she wanted to arrange a vegetable garden in the yard of this house.
My husband's sister said it would be a great place where she could take her children for the summer. My sister started fantasizing about family picnics. My husband's brother "joked" that it would be a good place to get drunk on weekends. We were both terrified. We didn't want any of this.
We wanted to have a place where we could feel truly at home. Where we can rest. Where we can arrange everything to our taste. Where there will be peace and quiet, but not family squabbles. Where we can raise our future children. In the end, we decided to tell them that the deal had fallen through and there would be no house.
After all it's not even their business. We were the only ones buying the house, and it has nothing to do with them. We didn't have to tell them. We only told the truth to our best friends, whom we were sure would not spoil anything.
The house is really beautiful, and my friends and I often go there on weekends. Well, two years have passed and my sister found out about the house by accident, because one of my friends posted a photo from there.
Now our families are furious and call us greedy. Many of the relatives don't want to talk to us until we give them the address (my mom even asked for spare keys). This is exactly the hype that we tried so hard to avoid. I don't think we're a%&@oles, but my husband is starting to hesitate about what we should have done, so outside advice can help us.
Here are the top comments:
solo_throwaway254247 says:
If your relatives don't wanna talk to you until you give them access to the house, I think that's one problem solved. Don't give them access, they don't talk to you. And that's that.
No spare key for your mother. Send them links to lakeside airbnbs. If they want to spend time at the lake, at a house, they don't own, they should look into airbnbs. Keep your house to yourself.
Stand firm, OP. Think of all the plans they made for a house that's not theirs. Then look at the beautiful home you've created and picture it being ruined by greedy and entitled relatives. That should strengthen your resolve to keep them at arm's length. NTA. And neither is hubby unless he gives in to their demands. Your relatives suck though.
Trevena_Ice says:
NTA (Not the A^^@ole). If they ask for the adress or a spare key, tell them 'that is exactly why we didn't tell you. This is our house. And only if you cannot accept our boundries and that this is OUR home you will not be invited or told anything more.'
I would also install cameras there. If they found a photo on social media, they might get the address via google street view or an old advertisment of the house - and then just think they could just drop by.
neophenx says:
Typically lying is not the best play, but it's absolutely wild that basically your whole family just assumed that they would have total access to your property just because you own a nice house. NTA and I totally get why you'd lie about that. With family like that, who needs enemies?
Enough_Process9773 says:
NTA. Tell your families, "Hey, we told you the deal had fallen through because you were all talking like you were entitled to share in OUR house. This is our weekend home, it's not yours to party in, we're not giving anyone else our keys, and we don't want you to raise a vegetable garden in our backyard. We go there on weekends to relax and chill.
Sorry we lied to you, but your reaction right now says we were exactly right not to tell you that we'd bought our house. No, we will not give you the keys, the address, the location, or an invite." Install cameras in case they find it.
What do you think? Was OP right to lie about buying the house?