Woman lies to roommates, 'I HATE CONFRONTATION.' AITA? 'I called a house meeting.'

"AITA for keeping groceries in my cupboard and lying about it to my roommates?"

I (23F) live with my boyfriend (22M), my best friend (21F) and her boyfriend (24M). I have been working at a new job for about 7 months, I get a regular salary for starting at the bottom so I can basically just afford simple monthly expenses such as Rent, Utilities and groceries.

My boyfriend is studying his degree and helps with bills from money he earns from a part time job and that his parents give him for his allowance. My best friend helps out with bills from an allowance she gets from her parents as she is also still studying her degree.

The 3 of us decided to rent an apartment together as it was a more affordable option. We discussed that we would spilt the bills between us equally. This arrangement was working well until my best friend's boyfriend moved in.

He repeatedly stated that he would also help with the bills but until he found a job he could only help with groceries. We all agreed this was okay but also said that he couldn't stay here forever without bringing his side. I started to notice over time that the groceries I was buying were disappearing but at a faster rate than what they should be.

I asked my boyfriend but he said that he genuinely didn't take any extra groceries. My boyfriend and I are really trying to save money for the future and so we budget everything down to the groceries. I don't mean that we go hungry to save money I just mean that we don't eat 900g T-bone steaks every night. THEN.

I noticed that my Bf's boyfriend was treating himself to his meals when in the kitchen, with MY groceries. I let it go on for a while until I no longer had food to eat myself and had no money to buy more. I called a house meeting in which I stated that I was not happy with this whole issue to which they (My Bfs and her Boyfriend) stated they would buy their own food from then on and we would no longer share.

After that food didn't disappear as much but was still finishing faster than it should. I then started keeping my groceries in my cupboard in my bedroom. I hate confrontation and so when I needed something from my cupboard I would make sure They weren't there to see, but I've bumped into my best friend's boyfriend while carrying some groceries out of my room.

They then started to ask if I had extra groceries that they could have eg. Bread to which I would say no, which was lying as I did have bread but for work sandwiches. Its been about 1 month now and my Bfs and her boyfriend both feel cold towards me still and I often catch them whispering and stop when my boyfriend or I enter.

I am not sure if this was maybe the wrong solution for the problem but I don't see how I now have to be treated like a villain because MY groceries are in MY cupboard. AITA?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

PeopleAre2Strange said:

NTA. Just say "sorry, I thought we agreed we would each buy our own groceries. Therefore I only buy enough to feed myself." You should probably stop tip-toing around, as if you had something to feel guilty about.

You don't. And this incident suggests that you simply aren't going to be able to avoid a confrontation, so center yourself and prepare and stand your ground. And move out as soon as it is financially feasible.

Newfordnative78 said:

NTA. When people are such mooches that you have to hide your groceries that’s a them problem not a you problem. I would look at moving out as soon as you can. That kind of behavior won’t stop on its own.

UteLawyer said:

NTA. It sucks that your friend's boyfriend doesn't have a job, but that's their problem. You aren't the food bank. They need to find a solution to their problem and shouldn't be stealing your food.

dryadduinath said:

NTA. and let me guess, he still isn’t paying his share of bills either? doesn’t matter for this I guess, but if he’s not paying bills he needs to move out, and if he is paying his share of bills he is still not allowed to eat your food.

You can’t allow people to make you feel bad for preventing them from stealing from you as much as they used to. easier said than done, but please be realistic here. when they ice you out that just shows them from an even worse light.

EDJardin said:

NTA, and this is a good lesson for your future: don't agree to share housing with someone who doesn't already have an income to pay their fair share.

cassowary32 said:

NTA. You aren't a food pantry. They know where the grocery store is and you aren't splitting groceries anymore. Let the mooches be cold.