Woman makes coworker cry; 'She insulted me as a MOTHER.' AITA?
When this woman is annoyed by her coworker, she asks the internet:
"AITA: coworker made rude comment about my kids. Was my response cutthroat?"
AITA? I have been in my profession for over 10 years, and I’m considered a “senior” in the field due to the field mostly being dominated by younger, less experienced but more educated people.
I have 6 children, who are my whole world but I try my best not to talk much about my children at work because of rude comments from others. Yesterday, while a half hour past the end of my work day, I announced to a coworker that I had to leave because my children are home this week.
There’s no summer camp scheduled this week or next. The coworker then responds “well you should’ve had less kids haha”. I looked at her and said “I’ll worry about my kids, you worry about your own” and proceeded to pack my stuff to leave. I know she doesn’t have children, it just pissed me off severely.
Coworker turned beet red and cried a little but did not apologize. She only responded to tell me to have a nice day. It will NOT be a nice day but that’s none of her business. I am already really quiet and withdrawn at work, not letting too much affect me or too many emotions show. AITA for how I responded? Should I apologize?
Let's see what readers thought:
aga09 writes:
I agree with the other commenter who said combo of NAH and ESH. I think your coworker was trying to make a joke. She got red because she realized you took it seriously and now feels awkward and bad.
Your response was very mild, but you did kind of jump from 0 to 100000 emotionally. I don't think she was trying to attack you/your family/your values. She probably felt that intensity under your words and wanted to climb in a hole and hide lol.
That's just how the workplace is though - you have to avoid trying to be funny in this kind of way because some people really hate it. It's hard for my generation because we do have this since of stupid, dry humor. I'm sure she's learned her lesson just from your response alone, I'd drop it and move on
asdga09 writes:
NTA. Your coworker's comment about having fewer kids was unnecessary and rude. It's understandable that you'd be upset, especially since you generally keep your family life private at work.
Your response was a measured way of setting boundaries without escalating the situation. You didn't say anything inappropriate or offensive; you simply reminded her to mind her own business.
It's not your responsibility to apologize for setting boundaries when someone else oversteps. In a professional environment, it's important to respect each other's personal lives and choices.
Your coworker might have been embarrassed by your response, but that's on her for making a thoughtless remark in the first place. You handled it with more grace than most would have in the same situation. Keep doing you, and don't let anyone make you feel bad for prioritizing your family.
silzawuiz writes:
NTA. You stated in comments it was past the end of your shift and the beginning of hers. And from the sounds of it you work overnight shifts.
Regardless of how many kids you have, you still need to get home to take care of them in the day and relieve whoever was with them at night. It was also 30 minutes past your shift, you have no obligation to stay that long or longer.
Your coworker tried to have a snarky gotcha moment about something that is none of her business.
Based on your post and comments this is a common thing and has become a sore point. Your reproduction and number of children is no one else's business. You can only take so many jobs before you bite back.
kilthy7 writes:
NTA. You did nothing wrong and you should report her to HR. If your the most experienced person they have they should want to protect you at work from things that come off as an attack.
It does not matter what she thought she meant because perception is EVERYTHING, especially in a professional environment.
She said something she thought was funny and to you, as well as most other people, it was an insult. Just because she has no kids doesn't mean it's okay for her to make comments in horrible taste about your minor children.
Please go to HR and explain that this has happened as well as anything else that has happened. Write it all down with dates, anything you can remember, as well as who else was around to hear it and take it to HR and let them know that you feel uncomfortable working around her and those like her.
fazz8 writes:
YTA. Her comment was out of line but you went from 0 to 100. You seem to have some anger issues lol
asdgaou writes:
Apologize for what? My cousin who is 46 now is a stay-at-home mom of ELEVEN kids. You can pass my story to her. Six is a lot to handle but as you said it was after the work day ended and you never said you needed special treatment from your employer.
Since it didn't happen, your personal life is your business. I could have understood a bit if she complained that you use them as an excuse to get off work early but that wasn't the case