Woman persuades friend who just gave birth to leave 'good-for-nothing man-child' husband. AITA?
"AITA For Encouraging A Woman Who Had Just Given Birth To Leave Her Husband?"
I'll try to keep this as short as possible. I (30F) gave birth recently and my husband (33M) was great throughout the whole process. He was holding my hand while I was in labor and encouraged me, etc. While I was recovering, I was put in the same room for a few irrelevant reasons with another woman in her late 20's that I didn't know, who had also just given birth.
I am quite a social person so at some point we started talking and we shared our labor experiences with each other. I was shocked when she told me that her husband not only asked the doctor if he could give her an extra stich (you know why) WHILE she was pushing the baby out, but also left before she was even finished to go get some sleep because his "back was killing him", and he hadn't showed up to the hospital since.
She also mentioned that he never helped around the house while she was pregnant, even though they both worked, and she worked throughout most of her pregnancy because the guy couldnʼt provide enough if she stopped working. Anyway, you get the picture.
I told her that she is too good for him and she shouldn't have to tolerate such a disrespectful, good-for-nothing man-child. She told me that she was thinking about leaving him but was afraid that she wouldn't be able to make it by herself, and I told her that there are many resources she can turn to (other than just her family) and that there are many options for single mothers.
Long story short she did leave him and turns out he was also cheating at her. It's been a few months now, I've kept in touch with her (she is doing great both mentally and economically, since she got a raise or something and her family is also supportive and helping her) but now her ex-to-be has been harassing me and my family and accusing me of ruining his family and says I'm the one who talked his wife into leaving him.
My husband and I are working on getting us a restraining order against him, but now that I think back on it, I am worried that I might have actually been on the wrong and that I should have just kept out of it. It's not like I forced the woman to leave him or something, I just told her that she has every right to do it and shouldn't tolerate being treated that way, but I still feel a bit guilty. AITA?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
xchellelynnx said:
Women who are abused or living in her situation might not have anyone like you to tell her that's not normal and she deserves better. Her ex is unhinged and you couldn't have predicted that. Get a restraining order. Imagine if you didn't say anything. That girl wouldn't be thriving, happy and safe. I think you did the right thing. You also might have saved her life or her child's based on his behavior.
a-_rose said:
NTA kudos to you for showing her she deserves more then that abusive POS. That guys is a dumpster fire of red flags. Get a cease and desist, if you haven’t already get cameras for your home and protect yourselves. You did nothing wrong.
StnMtn_ said:
NTA. He was cheating on her but blames you for her leaving!?!? He needs to look in the mirror. If he didn't cheat and also helped out at home, she would have never left.
DaniCapsFan said:
The woman was thinking of leaving him anyway; all you did was give her the validation she needed. You didn't ruin is family; he did. He ruined his family by treating his wife terribly and cheating on her. NTA.
Insert_Goat_Pun_Here said:
NTA. Moment he asked for the stitch, let alone while she was still giving birth, it should’ve been instant curtains for him. What a disgusting manlet.
Ali_199 said:
NTA- especially if she is doing well. As someone who also left my husband recently after giving birth, this sh%t is hard. Continue to support her as she may have conflicting feelings. My ex sounds similar to hers and my dumbass misses him everyday. There is no looking back now.