Woman plans to divorce husband over his 'mistake' with his co-worker. AITA? 'Maybe I'm overreacting?'

"AITA for wanting to divorce my husband after finding out he cheated on me with his co-worker?"

So here’s the deal. I (F, 32) have been married to my husband (M, 34) for 7 years. We’ve always had a pretty good marriage, or at least that’s what I thought. Like, we’ve had our issues, sure, but nothing I thought would lead to this. He’s always been loving, and I’ve always trusted him…or at least, I did.

Last weekend, we went out grocery shopping, and on the way back, he decided to stop at the petrol station to fill up the car. I stayed in the car since I was checking something on my phone. Normally, I wouldn’t snoop through his stuff, but for some reason, I noticed his phone buzz on the seat. I don’t even know why, but something just felt off, so I picked it up.

I didn’t expect anything weird, but the moment I saw the message preview, my heart dropped. It was from someone named Sara a co-worker of his. I recognized the name but never thought much of her before. The message said, “Can’t wait to see you tonight.”

I froze. I mean, who the hell is this? And why is she sending messages like that to my husband? I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I know I should’ve just put the phone down, but I didn’t. I unlocked it and read through the whole conversation. It was all flirtatious, dirty texts. He was sending her all this stuff, and it was clear they’d been seeing each other for a while. I could barely see straight. My whole world just fell apart.

When he came back to the car, I didn’t say anything at first. I was just numb. We drove home in silence. But when we got inside, I just couldn’t hold it in anymore. I asked him, straight up, “Are you sleeping with Sara?” His face went white.

He started stammering, trying to deny it at first, but eventually, he admitted to everything. He said it was a “mistake” and that it wasn’t supposed to go this far, but it did. He begged for my forgiveness, promised he’d cut all ties with her, said he was sorry and it would never happen again. But all I could think was, How could you do this to me?

I was just…devastated. I didn’t know what to say, and I couldn’t even look at him without feeling sick. I asked for space to think things over, but now it’s been days, and I just can’t get past it.

I don’t know if I can forgive him. I don’t know if I can trust him again. I feel like everything we built was just a lie. He’s been apologizing non-stop, telling me he loves me and that he’ll do whatever it takes to make it right. But it doesn’t change the fact that he betrayed me.

I’ve been thinking about divorce a lot, but then I feel guilty. Maybe I’m overreacting? Maybe I’m just too hurt right now and need time to process? I love him, but I’m so angry and hurt, and I just can’t stop thinking about what he did. So, AITA for wanting to divorce him after finding out? Or should I give him a chance to make things right? I’m so lost right now.

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

Vandreeson said:

NTA. He didn't make a mistake. He made a choice to cheat on you and betray you. If you didn't look at his phone, you would have never have known about this affair. Lord knows he'd never admit to it freely. Also, you think the first time you catch him is the first time he's cheated on you? He chose to be with another woman over you, his wife. Let her have him.

Clear-Ad-5165 said:

NTA - He's a lying cheater. Cheating is never a mistake. The only way is divorce and take him for everything. The only thing you need to talk to him about is when he's moving out and a forwarding address.

seofumi said:

NTA. After cheating the first time, the next will become easier and easier. Get it over fast rather than being in more pain later.

DuePromotion287 said:

NTA. Divorced him with a clean conscience.

Ok_Eye_3733 said:

NTA. Get them both fired first though. That’s against the rules in many companies. And she obv knows he’s married. Get her as fired. Him too.

sickyvicky20 said:

NTA. He isn’t sorry for cheating he is sorry that he got caught. If you didn’t find out he would still be cheating. If I was you I’d leave him.