Money can't buy happiness is a lie that rich people tell us so that we stay content with our non-rich lives. But sure, money may not buy us happiness, but it can buy us comfort. That's why it can be frustrating to hear well-off folks complain about money if you are living paycheck to paycheck, especially when it's about having to settle for the 30ft yacht instead of the 50ft yacht.
My friend Hailey has everything. She has her flat, a car, and a well-paying job, and she goes on at least 2-3 foreign holidays with her husband yearly. Meanwhile, I have to rent, haven't been abroad in probably ten years, and almost live paycheck to paycheck.
She is my oldest friend, and our differences haven't caused any problems in the past, but now that our country is heading into a recession, she has started to be a bit too much.
Every time we meet, she complains about money. How expensive everything is, they will probably only go abroad once next year and have to vacation in their own country during the summer. She has no idea how they will be able to upgrade their flat to a bigger one in the future, and they have so much debt. Now her husband has to take the bus to work because gas is too expensive. I had enough when she was talking about not knowing how they would be able to afford a baby in this economy.
I told her I was sick of her constant whining about not being even richer, not having one extra room in her flat, and only going to Barcelona for four days next year. Meanwhile, my boyfriend and I won't even have a Christmas tree this year and will probably skip Christmas altogether.
She told me she had no idea I think of her like this, and she could lend me some money if I needed it, then proceeded to play the victim, telling me that she is not rich at all, she lives in the same world as I do and inflation is affecting her too.
I'm not sure how she isn't rich but has no problem lending me money. I told her that our struggles were not the same and her comparing them to each other was a slap in the face.
This was a few days ago, and I have calmed down a bit. Everything I said was true, but now I'm thinking I might have been a bit too harsh on Hailey, and maybe she is too privileged to see my point and can't help it. AITA?
The class feud has begun, and the internet is here for it.
YTA (You're the A**hole) but softly. I understand how frustrating it is to be on a lower economic ring and hear people who are effectively 'rich' complain about money. It's also 1000% bad form and poor taste to complain about money woes to someone you know has it worse than you.
That being said, the troubles in a person's life are still their troubles. Maybe from your viewpoint, she has nothing to complain about, but it's all relative, and millions of people worldwide could literally make the same complaint about you.
'Meanwhile, my boyfriend and I won't even have a Christmas tree this year and will probably skip Christmas altogether.' Many people won't even have FOOD today, let alone on Christmas.
If you guys are friends, I'd have a conversation with her about how it makes you uncomfortable to listen to her money woes when you have it worse and then let it drop. Hopefully, she'll be more tactful in the future, but it doesn't cost you anything to empathize with someone's problems, even if they're better off than you.
YTA. I understand your frustration. I've been around people like her, too. But, you should've explained to her nicely your perspective and how her complaints made you feel instead of vilifying her 'ignorance.' She sounds like she'd understand you based on your story. And inflation does affect everyone. It's a b***h.
NTA (Not the A**hole). I hate it when people who are well off complain about not having it good enough. I completely understand snapping. I have had to explain to my partner that he is not 'working class' or in financial duress, he's solid middle class. I think he gets it now. But he will still say he's too poor to donate to charity and weird stuff like that. Complaining about the number of vacations one can take is over-the-top or
riding the bus?!
NTA. I'd be pissed off too. Yes, you could have phrased it more gently, but she is showing zero self awareness.
In the immortal (and somewhat adjusted) words of Obi-Wan Kenobi, 'these are not the rich you are looking for', or maybe they are the internet can't decide.