Woman pretends she has medical condition to avoid public confrontation with elderly woman. AITA?

When this woman is worried she did the wrong thing, she asks the internet:

"AITA for pretending as if I’m hearing impaired?"

Yesterday I (22F) was on the bus coming from work and an old lady came in. All the seats were taken. She stood right behind my seat.

She started talking with that woman (the woman had child with her but he looked +5) The lady with the child began to complain loudly. She was talking to old lady but making sure we all heard her.

“I can’t believe no one is offering you their seats, people are becoming really disrespectful, they ignored me and I was like okay whatever but they are ignoring you too?

No that’s just disrespectful" she kept going on "What happened to showing some respect to elderly. I’m sorry , I apologize on behalf of my generation. That’s just so disrespectful ”

I felt so ashamed because the old lady was standing right behind me and I swear if I wasn’t so tired I would definitely offer my seat. The old lady just smiled and said “it’s alright, I don’t mind” she was so sweet about it.

I was relieved but then the woman with the child said her “oh no please that’s just disrespectful , you don’t have to take it” and she tapped my shoulder and started making a whole scene “I’m sorry, but will you get up please, this old lady has been-“ everyone was looking at us so I stopped her in mid sentence and pointed to my ears then made a gesture with my hands.

She went “oh” , then she tried to type it out but the old lady stopped her and turned to me and said “I’m sorry” and then signed something. I have no idea what she signed but I just nodded and smiled back.

I feel so bad because of how nice the old lady was and technically I faked a disability even though I only did because I was panicked. I’m super socially awkward ( I suspect I’m autistic) and get anxious when I get confronted. AITA?

eta for clarification: I’m not using autism as an excuse. I was just explaining why I panicked. I said I SUSPECT I am autistic , well because I do. Not just because I’m socially awkward but because for all of of reasons that I don’t need to mention here. Before calling me on that please look up how often autism is dismissed in women.

My brother is diagnosed autistic as well. So if runs in the family. I still don’t self diagnose and say “I am autistic” because I don’t wanna claim I certainly am without a proper diagnosis (I will get evaluated for it) I just said I SUSPECT I am. Please don't put words in my mouth.

Let's see what readers thought:

statistical writes:

Mild ESH but towards the NAH end of the spectrum but really not due to faking the disability, the younger woman was being annoying but i think if you dont have physical limitations you should give up your seat for the elderly lady, i imagine her legs were probably more tired than yours at her old age.

jeavas20 writes:

I'll probably get bombed for this. YTA. You are 22. Get off the fucking seat for the poor old lady. I wonder how you will feel as a senior when a 22 year old able bodied person fakes being hearing impaired just to make you stand there.

Everyone today only thinks of themselves and refuse to do anything that doesn't involve gaining something for themselves. It makes me sick. It's such a small gesture. Unreal.

gual7 writes:

Absolutely YTA for me. Faking a disability is AWFUL. Secondly, people with hearing impairments can stand on busses. The loud mom lady was being an AH too, but you didn't have to respond. If you felt you were capable of standing for a bit, you should have given up your seat.

The old lady was nice but it's much harder for her to stand than for you (generally speaking, I don't know your specific circumstances aside from "tired.")

When mom lady tapped you on the shoulder, you just say, "Sorry, I can't. Have a good day." That's it. There were surely other people on the bus who could have given up a seat as well, unless the entire bus was elderly folk and baby moms.

edaga70 writes:

YTA big time, I'm surprised at how many people are on your side. Firstly, although the lady was being obnoxious, she had a point, you were a fully fit 22 year old who should have given up your seat.

The poor old lady was just being sweet saying she didn't need a seat, but if she had been offered one I bet she would have taken it. Imagine if she had fallen all because poor you didn't want to stand.

No one wants to stand! But there's a thing called respect for the worse off, that being elderly, disabled and pregnant women and then children as they aren't stable on busses.

Secondly you're the asshole even bigger for faking being deaf, what disrespect! Using a disability yo your selfish advantage. You should be ashamed.

stormucat writes:

YTA hun. I’m autistic and hearing impaired myself, I find people faking either super infuriating because I deal with them on a daily basis. People who are deaf can stand. People who are autistic can stand.

If you were really too tired to stand, you should have just used your big girl words and said “I can’t” with no excuses. It’s social etiquette to offer up your seat if you’re young and able bodied, I know that I would have offered up my seat in your position just because there’s nothing preventing me from standing and the old lady could need it more.