Woman publicly humiliates woman in front of her coworkers; 'I think she deserved it.' AITA?

When this woman claps back at someone and publicly humiliates her, she asks the internet:

"AITA for telling a girl she’s ugly in front of her coworkers after what she did to me?"

I have a friend who's obsessed with beauty, by which i mean bone structures, lip width, and other anatomical stuff. She spends a lot of time on those weird groups where they analyse celebrities' facial features (they think that most are mid lol). Anyway, it's weird, but i dont mind that.

I mean, i read Simpsons fan theories and look for clues when watching the show later. My point is that some people have strange obsessions, and it's ok as long as they're healthy. Sadly, her obsession isn’t healthy, in my opinion.

Sometimes, when we hung out, she would bring her cousin, who's objectively pretty. She got a modelling offer without even stepping into a modelling agency. She's nice, so i didn’t mind, but then my friend started comparing us, which is super random.

I mean, she's skinny, has dark blonde hair and blue eyes, and I'm overweight, with black, curly hair, and overall, we are completely opposite. So my friend would tell her cousin how pretty she is and how she's jealous of her getting this modelling contract.

She was talking about how beautiful her body is and would ask me to confirm, for example: "her face structure is superb! Do you agree? No wonder she's a model, right?' I mean, she is pretty, but like, who cares? Idk i just don't get why it's important. Now that's the part where I got angry.

She would also often say things to me like "your face is so fat”and “your boobs are way too big” or “your nose is weird”. Well you get it. But once she said that I look like a “used” 30 year old (which is old according to her)”. “Used?” I asked.

And she said “yeah you look like a 30 year old woman who drinks and sleeps around a lot. You know…used. I can’t believe you’re actually so modest and don’t drink. It doesn’t look like that at all ” then she laughed super loudly like it’s a really funny joke. Now this kind of thing happened a few times but it was way less extreme.

This time it was not only unhinged but also in front of a group of people most of which are her coworkers and her cousin. Now that’s where I might have crossed the line. I said she might be analysing all of those faces but it doesn’t change the fact that she’s ugly.

She looks like sad horse and in order to change that she would need plastic surgery. Lots of it. At least I can improve my face with makeup. She can’t. Honestly I felt guilty immediately.

And some of the people in the group later said I should’ve let her have it because she’s just “some girl from a village who doesn’t always know boundaries “.

I mean I get that but it’s time to learn those boundaries because being this clueless is crazy. It’s not being “Brutally Honest” it’s just being “Brutal”. I know that she’s the asshole but Am I? Maybe I shouldn’t get on her level and be the bigger person?

TLDR my beauty obsessed friend kept critiquing my looks and comparing me to her model cousin till one day I snapped by saying she looks like a horse and it made her sad. AITA?

Let's see what readers thought:

curiousone7 writes:

NTA. You were harsh, but it was necessary. Her comment was cruel and bullying. And she apparently didn’t learn earlier because none of her friends or colleagues ever called her out on her escalating rudeness.

It’s true that a calm, questioning response (“Why do you do that?”) can be even more effective, but we are socially trained to not respond to smaller slights which causes resentment to build up until we explode, so you get a pass from me.

gaet56 writes:

ESH. How old are you all? Because you act like you are mean 13 year old brats. Friends DO NOT TALK TO EACH OTHER LIKE THIS - enemies do. Walk away from this toxicity.

18dasgh writes:

NTA. She commented first. If her comments about your face and body were not insults, then neither are your comments about her looks. They are just comments, so she should not feel insulted.

She is AH because she has done this repeatedly, and if she never realized how it made you feel, then it was time that she had a lesson. Some people don't realize the effect they have until it is turned on them.

gaagh6 writes:

NTA, maybe ESH. She’s obviously really insecure about the fact that she’s probably not all the pretty but wishes she was, and has to put other people down to make herself feel more pretty by comparison.

She’s projecting. She probably sees herself as fat and “used up” and is trying to make herself feel better by telling herself YOU look fatter and more used up.

Yta for staying friends with her after the first incident. That’s not a friend, that’s a bully, and you’re allowing it to happen. This isn’t high school where you have to go to the guidance counselor. You’re an adult. Stop being around her and limit contact with people who like her.

calma7 writes:

ESH - Two wrongs don't make a right. You shouldn't have stepped down to her level.
I used to give back sh*t all the time until I eventually started to ignore people who were rude. Somehow that infuriates them more and makes them feel small.

You really kill their whole plan to make you angry or make you look bad by just not dealing with that sh*t at all. Works much better trust me. Also, your "obsession" is really cool. That stuff is very interesting. I sometimes watch those conspiracy-Iceberg-type videos on Youtube during my commute.

elmo7 writes:

ESH. Humiliation is not polite or kind. Polite and kind is the lowest baseline for behaving like a human. I get you wanted to give her a taste of her own medicine, and I get that she deserved it.

And if you want to mete out humiliation as a form of justice, more power to you. But don’t publicly humiliate someone (who you know was an asshole for publicly humiliating you) and then insult everyone’s intelligence by wondering if the same behavior that made her an asshole also makes you one.

equilsse7 writes:

she isn’t your friend and just because she’s from a village doesn’t mean she doesn’t know better. you just had enough of her shit, every action has a reaction. no need to feel guilty, she definitely knew what she was doing. u put her in her place, as so many ppl seem to need recently