My husband and I moved back to his home town back in July and he started working for a company that is across the street from a gas station that he frequents. Over the past few months he has made comments about how he has gotten to know the employees there by name, whom are all women, and has commented on how the older women "love" him.
I've been in there a few times personally and never once seen an older woman there but there's also a small restaurant there so I just figured that maybe the woman he is talking about works in the kitchen or something.
We gave birth to our daughter in September and the talk of this woman ceased for a month but now she is getting brought back up. Little playing stuff like "I will just go to the gas station because X loves me so she will give it to me for free," when he was talking about wanting a beer but not wanting to spend the money.
Again, I didn't think anything of it. But then he comes home with gift bags full of brand new clothes or I will notice new clothes in our daughter's room that we definitely didn't have before so I finally asked him where this stuff came from and he was kind of weird when he told me that the woman from this gas station got them for the baby.
Like, he was quiet and acted like he didn't want to tell me, type of weird. Now I'm starting to have a problem with this.. he supposedly didn't know this woman before he started working across the street from her and that seems like a short time period for acquaintances to become this comfortable. As I said, I've never seen an older woman working there.
And now she's going out of her way to go buy my kid clothes from expensive places like LL Bean and Carter's. I told my husband I'm not comfortable with this anymore. It's weird, I don't like it and I'm starting to question the nature of their relationship (because he's been working more hours, which could be unrelated but who knows because his paychecks aren't reflecting it).
My friend thinks I'm an AH because "it's obvious your husband is obsessed with you, I highly doubt he would cheat" but I'm truly not sure at this point because I don't know why a woman would go out of her way to do stuff to this extent for a married man unless he gave her reason to think he was interested.
Simple solution is “hey I’d like to meet this woman and thank her since she’s giving us free stuff." If your husband is weird about it that’s a tell. If he’s fine with it and you meet her and she’s weird, that’s a tell on her. I wish you the best of luck.
If he’s spending more time than usual ‘at work’ and the pay isn’t reflecting it, that’s a big red flag. I don’t think you’re the AH for feeling uncomfortable and saying so.
Next time go with him to see this generous old woman. His behavior and story is damn suspicious.
I would go to the station and specifically ask for her to “thank her” for the onesies. Sometimes people just do nice things but I think I would need to check her out.
The fact that he has put the clothes into the baby’s room without telling you that they were a gift from her tells me everything I need to know, personally. If he wasn’t being shady, he wouldn’t hide the clothes or act bashful when he’s forced to admit who they’re from.
NTA. I'm a believer in intuition and also, if his paychecks don't reflect his "overtime," I'd say you have reason to be suspicious. You need to tell him you want to thank this woman yourself for all the nice clothes for your baby as that's incredibly kind and generous of her.