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Woman refuses to act excited for 'pregnant' SIL, 'my MIL begged for everyone to be nice.' AITA?

Woman refuses to act excited for 'pregnant' SIL, 'my MIL begged for everyone to be nice.' AITA?


"WIBTA if I don't act excited for my SIL being 'pregnant?'"

My SIL Lisa (22F), told me (27F) and my wife Sara (25F) that she was pregnant yesterday. Apparently she's "6 weeks " along. I left the room when she said she was having a baby, and Sara was saying congratulations in a neutral way. She was not screaming or crying or acting overly excited, which caused the conversation to be awkward.

Now we're seeing them for mother's day, which at first they weren't coming to, but now they are, and I know they're gonna make it all about themselves. Lisa has not seen my reaction towards her having a baby, but on Sunday, I will not act excited or happy for her.

Now, some back story. Last year, Lisa annouced she was pregnant at 4 weeks. She has a history of having irregular periods and her husband Dan (25M) wants SEVEN children. However, Lisa thought she had a "miscarriage", it was just her period, and began to tell everyone that she had a miscarriage.

She went to the doctor and the doctors tested her for a pregnancy hormone that is made by the body when a woman is pregnant. Test results came back and her doctor told her she was never pregnant.

Lisa does not know that Sara and I know because my MIL told us. However, lisa uses that "miscarriage" as ammo for manipulating people. Lisa and her husband Dan have been nothing but horrible to me and Sara.

Lisa and Dan are extremely Christian. Not to mention they are bigoted. Sara and I got married 2 years ago, and Lisa refused to come to Sara's wedding. Her and Dan's reasoning was "well because the Bible says that being gay is a sin, we just can't bring ourselves to be in the presence of a gay marriage happening. It just goes against what we believe in."

They also told us to our face during a heated conversation earlier this year that they do not think Sara and I should be married. As soon as they said that to our faces, I lost all respect for them. During that same conversation, Lisa tried to manipulate everyone into feeling sorry for her and trying to "win" the conversation by screaming that she had lost her baby last year.

As previously mention before, tests confirmed she was never pregnant. But with her being just an overall horrible person who doesn't give a damn about me and Sara, I just feel like I am obligated to feel excited for Lisa being "pregnant" because my MIL has begged for everyone to be nice to each other. However, Lisa's done nothing but lie, manipulate and be hostile towards us.

She will snap and yell at you if she doesn't get the reaction she wants. I am just afraid of causing some hostility or an argument on mother's day. But I can't in good conscience act happy for people who have treated me, Sara and her family so horribly.

Plus, they lost all of my respect when they told Sara and I that they don't think we should be married. Anyways, WIBTA if I don't act happy and excited for Lisa and Dan being pregnant?

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

Excellent-Count4009 said:

YWNBTA. MIL is an AH to push you to hang out with homophobes. STOP allowing that. "I am just afraid of causing some hostility or an argument on mother's day. "... take ML out for dinner separately, and don't go.

Fearless_Spring5611 said:

NTA. Honesty, why are they still a part of your life if they don't even respect who you are?

Independent-Sky-840 said:

NTA! You could show support by buying a rainbow onesie! Very gender neutral! Then expect her to accept the gift gracefully and expect pictures of the “baby” in the outfit!

WomanInQuestion said:

NTA - react how you want to. If/When they complain “you’re being rude to SIL!” just say “And yet I’m still behaving 1,000 times nicer than they have ever treated us.”

Ok_Discount_7889 said:

NTA but stop focusing on the pregnancy thing. If they want a lot of children and have (probably) been trying for a while, it’s just as painful to not be able to get pregnant at all than it is to have a miscarriage.

They don’t deserve it, but any empathy you can muster up for them will probably make YOU feel better in the long run. All that said, I wouldn’t spend time with someone that insulted my marriage. Anyone who insists that is a reasonable expectation is also an AH.

tawstwfg said:

Why do families insist on forcing togetherness like this?? Sigh. Anyway, NTA. To address your question, just treat the pregnancy news the way you wish Dan and Lisa would treat your marriage…politely. You don’t have to turn cartwheels and feign happiness, just be polite.

Jacked-to-the-wits said:

ESH, them obviously for the homophobia, rudeness, and bigotry. You for conflating that to have anything to do with their pregnancy. You really have no clue if they are pregnant or not. You heard some hearsay and are making rather big assumptions, and very much overstepping what is your business.

If you choose to not be around these people, that’s totally fine, I’d even encourage it. If you do end up around someone, they tell you they are pregnant, and you assume they are lying or deluded, YWBTA.

You don’t know and it’s not your business to know. If they tell you and you respond that you don’t care, YWBTA, because that’s incredibly rude.

Most people were on OP's side for this one. What's your advice for this situation?

Sources: Reddit
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