Woman refuses to attend sister's wedding because her fiancé stole her business idea. AITA?
"AITA for refusing to attend my sister's wedding because her fiancé stole my business idea?"
I (28F) find myself in a really tough spot and need some honest opinions on what I should do. My sister (25F) is getting married soon, and the entire family is ecstatic, but I am not. Her fiancé (30M) stole a business idea from me a few years back, and I'm seriously considering skipping the wedding because of it.
Backstory: I'd been working on a unique business concept for a few years, and I told my sister about it. I thought we were close. Fast forward a bit, and lo and behold, her fiancé launches the same damn business, basically stealing my idea and profiting off it. This scheme is what is funding most of their wedding, FYI.
I confronted them about it, and they played dumb, acting like it was "just a coincidence," and they "had no idea." I was furious, hurt, and betrayed, but for the sake of the family, I decided not to press the issue any further.
Now the wedding is approaching, and my parents are pressuring me to attend after I mentioned to them that I want to skip it. They argue that family comes first, and I should set aside my grievances for the sake of my sister's big day.
On the other hand, I feel like attending would be a slap in the face, as I feel it would signal that what they did is forgivable and that I'm okay with being walked all over. So AITA for wanting to skip my sister's wedding over this?
Should I put aside my feelings and be there for her, or is it fair for me to take a stand against what feels like a major betrayal? I'm torn.
EDIT:
A few of you really wanted to know what the business idea was. I can't go into detail as it is pretty niche and would be easy to look up and find out a bit too much personal info on my BIL. I can tell you though that is was an app idea, it is identical to the idea I was working on.
Also, some people are defending BIL by saying that I "wasn't going to go through with it," I had been taking part-time entrepreneurship classes at a local college and was teaching myself how to build an app at the time.
I told my sister about it and showed her what I was working on. He stole the idea before I had the chance to go through with it and sold it to his buds, now he co-owns it.
I think it's also important to note that I dabble in photography, and from conversations with my parents it sounds like my sister wants me to photograph her wedding for her, but I have not heard anything about intended payment for photographing her wedding.
So by not going not only would I be causing a bit of drama, I'd also be leaving them without a photographer according to my mom. (I never agreed to photograph, this was apparently "assumed" by my sister.)
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
floridaeng said:
OP tell your mother if family comes first then why did your sister and her fiance steal your business idea? It seems your sister has a unique idea on how to deal with family.
SgtPepper32 said:
NTA, if you are 100% sure that the idea was so unique to you and he definitely 100% copied from it, Not only would I not attend the wedding, id completely cut off the sister too for sharing your idea with him! That might be abit extreme for some people but ive had a similar thing happen to my gf.
kurokomainu said:
NTA This is based on taking you at your word that they ripped off a unique idea, making it hard for you to now use the idea for yourself without being in direct competition and looking like the one copying their business, putting you behind the eight ball from the outset.
They did betray you and going would look like you were signaling that you were willing to let it be water under the bridge. The thing is, A-holes count on time healing (and hiding) all wounds and they may be counting on it -- that you would come around and they would get away with it with no real consequences.
You don't have to be pressured into just taking it because the rest of the family wants to celebrate the wedding and pretend that your sister and her soon-to-be husband haven't stabbed you in the back.
If you don't want to go, don't go. Tell family pressuring you that they are all welcome to go but to leave you out of it; their betrayal is a real and serious thing and you are not willing to go along with pretending it isn't just because acknowledging it is inconvenient when the rest of the family just wants to forget about it and celebrate.
Your sister and her SO have done nothing to make things right and you are not going to give them a free pass on this level of betrayal.
Haggis_Hunter81289 said:
NTA, forget that BIL stole a business idea, if they assume you will be their photographer without asking, or even offering payment, then I'd not go either. If they haven't organized a photographer, or even bothered to ask if you would do it, tough luck.