Woman refuses to babysit sister's kids while she's on a 'babymoon.' AITA? UPDATED
"AITA for refusing to babysit my sister's kids for several weeks while she is on a ‘babymoon’ with her boyfriend?"
My, (28F) sister Jamie (38F) has 3 kids, Melanie (11F), Sara (8F) and Carl (5M) with her ex-husband, whom she divorced six months ago due to her cheating, with her current boyfriend, Daniel (62M). Jamie’s kids are absolute brats, and last time they came over, three years ago, Melanie smashed a vase and Sara scribbled on my Uggs with permanent marker.
This was when I decided to become childfree. I also decided to distance myself from them, though I do speak to them and we do have occasional ‘family dinners’ at my aunts place.
Anyways, Jamie and Daniel are expecting a child, a boy, and they decided to go on a babymoon, which will happen in a week, and they are not very wealthy (Jamie spent nearly all of her money on the trip, and Daniel will work double shifts till then and after the babymoon to support both of them) so they did not hire a babysitter.
Yesterday, Jamie unexpectedly called me, and asked if I could babysit her kids. I said no, as I have been getting a degree online, and I have to fly to where my university is for my graduation ceremony. At first, she tried to persuade me, saying her kids are "absolute darlings" and I "won’t even notice they are there."
I said that my answer was still the same, and then she went off in a rant and called me all kinds of sh$%, like that I’m a "heartless b" who can’t have a little compassion for her poor, pregnant sister."
I told her that if she wants somebody to work for her for free, she can actually get a job and not date men who are literally old enough to be her father in the hopes that they are rich.
She hung up, and is now bombarding me with texts begging me to reconsider. I am beginning to feel a bit guilty. Should I have been nicer to Jamie. AITA?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
sofia_lee12 said:
NTA. You are under no obligation to babysit your nieces and nephews, especially when it's for an extended period and you have your own commitments. Your sister's behavior is unreasonable and disrespectful.
Status-Software4467 said:
NTA. Babysitting is a big ask, especially for weeks, and you have a legit reason. Her financial situation and choices aren't your responsibility.
AngelicMoonlitDream said:
NTA. You’re allowed to set boundaries, especially when it comes to things like babysitting kids you don’t get along with. Your sister should’ve planned ahead or found a sitter if she knew she needed help.
The fact that she’s now making you feel guilty for saying no, after calling you names, is not fair. You have your own life, priorities, and reasons for not wanting to do this, and you don’t owe her anything.
Emeraldashh said:
NTA. Your sister is trying to manipulate you with guilt trips and insults, which is completely unfair. You have valid reasons for not wanting to babysit, including your past experiences with her children and your upcoming graduation. It’s not your responsibility to accommodate her lack of planning and financial irresponsibility.
Her comments about your personal life are also completely out of line. You deserve to celebrate your graduation without feeling burdened by her demands. Don’t feel guilty for setting boundaries and prioritizing your own needs.
Rose_loves_BSH said:
These kids have a dad right…so she can ask him. Although your sister probably burnt her bridges with him due to her cheating. Her poor planning is not your problem. NTA.
broadsharp2 said:
NTA. "I told her that if she wants somebody to work for her for free, she can actually get a job and not sleep with men who are literally old enough to be her father in the hopes that they are rich." This is hilarious! Your sister's poor life choices are not your responsibility to clean up.
UPDATE:
Last night, Jamie texted me. She seemed upset. Apparently, she had to cancel her”. babymoon” because I ”rudely denied” the “amazing opportunity” to watch her kids. However, not everything from the canceled trip was fully refunded, so she demanded that I compensate with the rest, and also pay for a fully funded trip to Disney for her, Daniel, and the brats.
She also sent me links to several things, such as a pack of Japanese (expensive!) diapers, baby clothes, baby shoes (what baby needs mini asics that cost a bomb), and other stuff, totalling about 500 dollars. I didn’t text back, and blocked her. Later, Daniel called me. I didn’t pick up.
At about midnight, Jamie showed up at my house and dropped Melanie, her 11 year old off. Now I’m conflicted. Should I call the police and get Jamie in trouble (and possibly get Melanie in trouble with Jamie) or should I go to her house and sort this out myself? I really hope I don’t have to make any more updates.
Here's what top commenters had to say about the update:
Sweet-Interview5620 said:
NTA call the police tell them your sister abandon her child and that she’s threatened to abandon all of her kids and disappear for multiple weeks whether your avaialble or agree or not. Let them come and get the neice and her face consequences.
Unless you give her consequences she will continue ue abusing you so it’s the only way to stop this for good. Take actions she broke the law abandoning her daughter when she knew you are against it so let her face child services and the police for it.
Feisty_Evidence8110 said:
NTA. I’d immediately unblock and text her and the child’s father and date if they are not there in 30 minutes to pick up their child then you’ll call the police for child abandonment.
You owe no obligation to watch her kids or refund her for any expenses. Also, inform the child that this is an adult situation and that you are sorry that her parents put her in the middle of it. Her parents will continue to make you the bad guy.
Material_Cellist4133 said:
Call the police. You are enabling her behavior if you don’t.
mb21212 said:
NTA, you needed to call the police for child abandonment before this post. What if you had not been home? She is 11!!
Careless-Image-885 said:
NTA. Send one message to your sister: The police are on the way to pick up your abandoned child.
MonkeyPolice said:
Wow. NTA. I agree with everyone else. Give her 30 minutes to pick the kid up or you are calling the police. Stay firm. Your sister is nuts. You want the police involved to protect you, should sis keep escalating.