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Woman refuses to bend vacation budget for friend's daughter's food allergies; AITA?

Woman refuses to bend vacation budget for friend's daughter's food allergies; AITA?


Wrangling multiple schedules and children into a group trip can be an extreme sport in planning, especially when there are picky eaters, dietary restrictions, or allergies in the mix...

So, when a conflicted mom decided to consult the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's 'Am I the As$hole' about food allergies on a group vacation, people were ready to help out.

AITA for not accommodating my friend's daughter's food allergies on a group holiday?

I (31F) am going on holiday with my husband 30m and some of our friends. I organized the trip and we have a groupchat. We are bringing our son Alex 5m and it is a family trip with friends bringing their kids as well.

I have a friend Emily 29f who has a daughter 5f Ava who has many food allergies. Ava and Alex are good friends.

To save money when going away, we will be cooking for ourselves most days in our apartment. I agreed to shop for food staples for the trip, and I created a list and everyone added things to create a final list.

Emily messaged to say Ava can't eat most the food on the list and sent me an edited version swapping out ingredients for things Ava can eat.

The swaps made the shopping way more expensive, and others replied their kids won't eat most the things on the list and wanted to stick to the original one.

I told Emily that this wasn't in our budget, and told her to separately get food for Ava, and we will adjust splitting the food bill to just include her and her husband instead.

She argued that Ava will feel left out on the trip as she has to eat something else separately, especially seeing Alex eat what everyone else does and Ava can't eat that.

Normally when we meet up, we do all eat the same food as Ava, which is fine as that is one meal once every 1/2 weeks, but we are going away for 10 days, and I don't think I can eat that food everyday.

Here's what the jury of internet strangers had to say about this one...

South_Blackberry4953 said:

That is life with food allergies. Better to get used to it while she's young. NTA.

KyotoDreamsTea said:

NTA. Emily is conditioning her daughter to have everyone abide to her meals which is setting her up for failure and having unrealistic expectations. Emily should meal prep her stuff.

Hapnhopeless said:

NTA. The burden of Ava's allergies falls on her parents. That reality might not be puppies and rainbows but dems the shakes. Stick by your original list. Ava's parents will have to accommodate their own child out of their own pockets.

macross1984 said:

NTA. You are planning group outing and one person's demand can ruin everyone's enjoyment. If the affected person's parent want to participate then she should be the one to prepare special food to accommodate her allergic daughter separate from the food budget of group.

Luna_Leeloo said:

NTA Somebody else is food allergies are not your responsibility. Not cooking. Not shopping. Nothing. She has a mother and it’s her responsibility.

Dazzling1hamster said:

NTA. I have a major food allergy. I simply buy/bring my own food. You can't expect someone to spend extra on almost every item.

So, there you have it...

The opinions were unanimous here that this mom needs to look out for her daughter's food allergies on her own, as inconveniencing others and messing with the budget only causes more stress. Unfortunately for Ava, her whole life will be filled with eating different foods than her friends and it's easier to learn that sooner than later.

Sources: Reddit
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