Woman refuses to buy her brother a gift after she's kicked out of his wedding, 'I was stealing the spotlight.' AITA?
"AITA for refusing buy my brother a wedding gift after he kicked me out of his wedding?"
I (26F) have an older brother, Jake (30M), who recently got married. Growing up, we were close, but as we got older, we drifted apart. Jake has always been a bit more conservative, while I've always been more into fashion and expressing myself. I'm engaged to my fiance Jason (32M) who loves to buy me new dresses and loves to make me feel beautiful.
So, a few months ago, Jake and his fiancée, Emily (26F), sent out wedding invitations. I was super excited and went all out to find the perfect dress and the dress code was formal eveningwear.
Jason said he had been saving a dress for our engagement party, but decided that this was a nice occasion to wear it because he found something else for our party. It wasn't white or anything; it was a deep emerald green with a slit that came up to my mid-thigh and off-the-shoulder sleeves.
The day of the wedding, I arrived early to help out and mingle with family. Everything was going fine until Jake pulled me aside and told me that my dress was too flashy and that I was drawing too much attention. I was shocked. He said it was Emily's special day and I was stealing the spotlight.
I offered to tone down my makeup or wear a shawl over the dress, but he was adamant. He said that unless I could find something else to wear, I couldn't stay. I didn't have anything else with me, so I left in tears. My fiance wasn't invited and I wasn't extended a plus one.
Fast forward a few weeks, Jake and Emily went on their honeymoon, and when they got back, they asked me where my gift was. I told them that because I wasn't at their wedding I wasn't giving them a gift.
Jake called me selfish and said I was punishing him for something that was already over and done with. My parents are also on his side, saying I should just let it go and give my brother something off the registry. AITA?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Electrical_Worker_88 said:
NTA. They are three times the ahole for not inviting your fiancé, throwing a fit over a dress and for asking for a gift.
HamRadio_73 said:
NTA. "Sis, where's the gift?" "It's still at the store."
allythapunk said:
NTA, your brother sucks completely. Wtf your FIANCE wasn't invited? Your brother kicked you out of the wedding? Then he is tacky enough to ask anything about a gift? F him, I'd drift further away, into no contact. Also please don't invite him or his wife to your wedding. No good could come of it.
theory240 said:
NTA. They threw you out because they didn't like your dress that matched their dress code. F them. Present them a bill for your costs to go to the wedding you were ejected from.
Fearless-Fennel4929 said:
NTA it’s trashy to expect a gift from someone you kicked out of your wedding. Your brother sounds insecure and i wouldn’t be surprised if he was hoping for an expensive gift from you/your fiancé.
Neonpinx said:
Your brother didn’t allow you to bring your fiance, kicked you out because he thought you looked better than his wife and now is crying about not getting a gift from you and even got your enabling parents involved? NTA. Your brother is a creep.
SavageTS1979 said:
NTA. And... to be honest, I'd straight up tell your parents, that if they are going to support your brothers actions, throwing you out of a "family" event, for actually following the dress code, looking nice, and not inviting your future husband, then a) they are all not invited to your wedding.
B) they can go to hell. And c) they no longer have a daughter, and you no longer have a brother or parents. They will never meet their future grandkids, and be outcast from your life for THEIR support of someone who treated you like trash.