Woman refuses to change baby's name, 'it makes my husband's family UNCOMFORTABLE.' AITA? MINI UPDATE
"AITA for refusing to change my baby’s name even though it makes my husband’s family uncomfortable?"
So, I (30F) gave birth to my daughter six weeks ago, and my husband (32M) and I had already picked out her name months ago. Luna. We both loved it. It was meaningful to us because we had our first date on a night with a huge full moon, and it just felt right.
Well, the moment we announced her name, my husband's family got weirdly quiet. I didn’t think much of it at first, but later, his mom pulled him aside, and I could tell something was off.
Turns out, in his family’s very specific religious beliefs (which I honestly never paid much attention to because they’re not super strict about it), the moon is considered a “symbol of deceit” and “bad luck.” Apparently, naming a baby after it is like setting them up for a lifetime of misfortune. His grandmother was so distressed that she literally started crying when she found out, saying we were “cursing” our daughter.
I told them that while I respect their beliefs, they are THEIR beliefs. Luna is a beautiful name, and we weren’t going to change it. My husband was on my side at first, but now that he’s seen how upset his family is, he’s asking me to consider at least changing her legal name and just calling her Luna as a nickname.
I think this is ridiculous. Our daughter is already named. She’s had this name for over a month. Changing it now feels absurd. But now his family is openly calling me selfish, saying I should compromise for the sake of family peace. AITA for refusing to change my daughter’s name even though it upsets his family?
UPDATE:
Since people keep asking about the religion. My husband’s family follows a very niche sect of independent fundamental baptists (IFB). They’re not as strict as some but certain members, especially his grandmother, hold specific beliefs about the moon.
They have some fundamentalist interpretations of Isaiah 47:12-14 and Deuteronomy 4:19 which warn against celestial bodies being associated with deception, false gods, witchcraft, etc. About how you shouldn’t worship celestial bodies. His grandmother in particular believes the moon is a symbol of instability and misfortune.
My husband never took these beliefs that seriously growing up so it wasn’t something that crossed his mind when we picked the name. But once his family reacted the way they did, he started second-guessing it. It’s less about him believing it himself and more about not wanting to upset his family. I personally think it’s ridiculous which is why I’m not budging on changing her name.
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Rye_One_ said:
If your husband’s families very specific religious beliefs were so important to them, how did your husband manage to name his daughter something so obviously problematic? Something doesn’t sound right here.
dinahdog said:
Luna is a Roman goddess. She shoots arrows into the night sky to produce the stars. what religion is this family? NTA. Keep the name. It's lovely.
ZeppelinMcGillicuddy said:
I'm assuming your in-laws had the kids they wanted and named them what they wanted. Now you're the child-bearing generation and those decisions belong to you. NTA.
mocha_lattes_ said:
NTA. Don't change it. It's going to create all kinds of hassle changing her name. Carrying around a proof of name change her whole damn life. Just don't. If you want to offer a compromise then let his family call her a nickname like Lulu or her middle name.
ImpossibleIce6811 said:
NTA. My half-sister just named her newborn son the same name as my dad’s (not her dad) DOG. Did I say anything? No. Why? Because it’s not my baby!!! These people are choosing a weird time to be overly religious. Hard pass.
Maybe with time your daughter will earn a cute nickname for family to call her, but you have zero obligation to follow some weird naming rules that someone else’s religion dictates. It’s not your religion or even your husband’s.
nw826 said:
NTA. But think about how they are going to interact with your daughter throughout her life. Are they constantly going to be telling her she is bad luck or has bad luck? Not saying you should change the name but consider how you want to handle this moving forward, and this you think they will handle it too.