Woman refuses to cook for boyfriend after he 'fixes' every meal, 'it's driving me nuts.' AITA?
"AITA for refusing to cook for my boyfriend anymore because he always 'fixes' my meals?"
I (32F) have been with my boyfriend (34M) for about a year now. We’ve moved in together recently, and while everything has been great, there’s one thing that’s really starting to bother me: every time I cook, he insists on "fixing" my meals.
To clarify, I’m a pretty good cook. I’m no professional chef, but I know my way around the kitchen, and my friends and family have always enjoyed my cooking. However, my boyfriend has this habit of hovering around while I’m cooking, tasting everything, and then adding extra spices, salt, or other ingredients without asking.
Sometimes he even goes as far as changing the whole dish by adding things like hot sauce or extra cheese, completely altering the flavor. At first, I just let it go, but after months of this, it’s driving me nuts. I put effort into making meals, and he always feels the need to tweak them. It makes me feel like my cooking isn’t good enough for him.
Last night, I made dinner and told him straight up that I don’t want him to "fix" it this time. He did it anyway, dumping extra seasoning into the pot while my back was turned. I got so frustrated that I told him if he doesn’t like the way I cook, he can make his own meals from now on.
He thinks I’m overreacting and that it’s "not a big deal." He even accused me of being controlling about food. I, on the other hand, feel disrespected because I’ve asked him multiple times to stop. So, AITA for refusing to cook for him anymore after he keeps altering my meals?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
KaliTheBlaze said:
NTA. If anyone is being controlling about food here, it’s him. Every time you cook has to be his way, and even when you explicitly tell him to knock it off, he won’t.
Jumpy_Succotash_241 said:
NTA. He knows exactly what he's doing and he's doing this deliberately. It's absolutely about control. There was a post a while back about a woman who's husband kept tightening to lids on jars to the point she couldn't ever open them.
She kept telling him to stop but he carried on doing it. She left him in the end. The issue wasn't the jars, it was the blatant controlling behaviour and lack of respect for her. This is the same situation. He is absolutely doing this on purpose. Please leave this moron.
strandroad said:
NTA at all. He can do whatever he likes to his own plate but not to the whole pot; he alters it for you as well and that's super rude. Let him cook!
RedneckDebutante said:
NTA You are permitted to fix your own plate, not everyone else's. He just likes letting you know you're not quite good enough and he has to "fix" your work. Even using the word "fix" is an insult. I wouldn't cook for him either.
Alert_Sorbet4016 said:
NTA, you two need clear boundaries. When you cook he isn’t allowed in the kitchen and the same when he cooks…maybe you should alternate who cooks so he could get his turn.
MystickPisa said:
NTA. Funny how so often the thing someone accuses you of us the exact thing they are doing.
ssk7882 said:
Wait, you've asked him multiple times to stop, and he still hasn't knocked it off? NTA. If he likes taking control of the cooking so much, then let him cook his own damned meals.