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Woman refuses to eat the 'bad' birthday dinner her husband cooked; AITA?

Woman refuses to eat the 'bad' birthday dinner her husband cooked; AITA?


Cooking is a skill that needs to be practiced like anything else, but that doesn't stop everyone from thinking they're on

So, when a conflicted wife decided to consult the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's 'Am I the As*hole' about whether or not she was wrong to reject her husband's efforts in the kitchen, people were ready to roast her.

AITA (Am I the As*hole) for not eating the dinner my husband made for me?

This is about me (31F) and my husband (30M). In our household, we don't really cook because we both work at places with free/very cheap warm and good lunches.

So on weekdays, we tend to have very light dinners (think just some simple sandwiches) or sometimes even nothing if we're still full from lunch. If we're not working on that day, we mostly get takeout or go out to eat out

On the rare occasions we want homemade dinner, I'm the one who cooks because frankly, my husband is a horrible cook. Always has been.

So my 31st birthday fell on a workday this year and I wasn't planning on celebrating anything. Just wanted to get some nice dinner with my husband and watch a movie afterwards or something.

I asked him if he wanted to go to one of our favorite restaurants that day and he said no, he would take care of dinner. I thought cool, thinking he'd get takeout or order in.

Well, that day when I came from work, I go into the living room and I see husband setting up the table. He says he made me dinner and that surprised me because again, he is not a good cook. But I sit down and wait for him to finish setting up the table.

And well, it was bad. Very bad. The pasta dish he made, the sauce was weirdly grainy and oily. Smelled off too. He tried to make little pies stuffed with cheese, but all the pies were half burned and most of the cheese had oozed out from them already. The chocolate pudding he made for dessert was still extremely liquidy.

It was very clear that nothing turned out the way it should have, but I thanked him and told him I appreciated the effort. But that we both knew that his cooking skills are bad, so he should have just gotten takeout or order in. He got upset but honestly, he knew the food was messed up.

And I still wanted a nice dinner so I asked if he wanted to order in but he refused. So, I still ordered food for him too in case he wanted it later but he only ate his portion of the dinner. Afterwards, he called me a jerk and said at the very least, I should have had tried the food.

It's been a few weeks since, and sometimes I think that I was too harsh and maybe I should have just tried the food even if I knew it would be bad. AITA?

Here's what the jury of internet strangers had to say about this mess...

theas$holethrowawa said:

YTA: I see a lot of people saying for not tasting it but to me it's all about your response of ' thank you but you know you can't cook why did you even bother.' That's just hurtful.

pippi2424 said:

YTA. My partner once cooked an awful meal (several dishes). I ate it, then gently remarked it needed improvement and pointed out what part was quasi-acceptable.

Fast forward years later, we were discussing that meal. My partner said: 'Remember the food I cooked? It was awful. But you ate it, and were gracious about it. That's how I knew you loved me.' You didn't need to eat it all. But taste it, yes.

_SP3CT3R said:

YTA. You should have at least tried the food. Yeah, he may suck at cooking, but he did put a lot of effort in.

hilipop said:

YTA. Eating your partner's bad cooking is like relationship 101. If it is not going to hurt you physically then at least try some.

You turned your nose up at his effort and mocked his act of love. Poor form. I cannot tell you the number of awful dishes I have choked down for the ones I love.

Accomplished_Cup900 said:

NTA. Birthdays and holidays are not the days to experiment with food. He knows he can’t cook. So why would he serve you something he knows probably won’t get eaten? He should’ve ordered food or taken you out.

nopenothappening99 said:

NTA he knew he sucked and still tried it, could be a very sweet gesture If he’d stopped it there and not served it.

But he served it which means that him getting credit for trying was more important to him than getting you something nice, and edible without likely food poisoning, on your birthday was. He made it about him instead of you.

While the opinions were fairly divided here, most people agreed that she might have been a bit harsh here. Still, if he already knew it was bad...what would be so wrong with calling it a day and ordering a pizza? Not all of us can be chefs, sir.

Sources: Reddit
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