Woman refuses to help her cousin with her bakery business after she was excluded from her wedding. AITA?
"AITA for refusing to put in the effort to help my cousin with her business after she excluded me from her wedding?"
I (28F) have a cousin (32F), who's getting married. We used to be pretty close, and I was very excited about being a part of her big day. Well, she told me a few months before the wedding that she had changed her mind on the size of the wedding.
It was going to be very small, like just close friends and immediate family members at the ceremony. I was hurt, but I understood. Fast forward to now, my cousin has started her small bakery and she's doing quite well.
The other day she asked me if I could help her out on weekends since she is swamped with orders and really needs an extra pair of hands. I work full time during the week and was looking forward to this weekend just to chill out, but I was willing to consider it.
It came out a few days ago from our moms that she had actually invited many members of the extended family and even some of her close friends.
See, it wasn't that very small and private, like she showed it to me. I felt cheated and left out again because she would make me feel like it's super limited—just really immediate family.
The second time she asked me to help in the bakery, I declined the offer and told her precisely what I felt about being left out of her wedding. She was very defensive, saying that it was her special day and she could invite whomever she wanted. I agreed with her but told her my time is mine also, and I can choose how and with whom I want to spend it.
Now my family's split. Some think I'm being petty, and I should help her out because "family supports family." Others think my cousin was wrong to exclude me in the first place, and I have every right to refuse. Am I the
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Graphite57 said:
To all of those family members who think you're being petty, remind them that they quite probably went to the wedding, they can repay your cousin by volunteering to help in her business. NTA.
Special_KMA said:
NTA. She was wrong to exclude you. As far as the bakery. Will she pay you for your time? If not, you will find better things to do on your weekends!
teresajs said:
NTA. Bakery workers get paid. If your cousin offered a fair wage, she would be able to hire an employee to work weekends. If any relatives disagree, they can go work for your cousin.
ConfidentAd4989 said:
NTA So you’re good enough to work for her but not good enough to be invited to the wedding….hmm. If your cousin needs help with her business, then she needs to employ and pay someone like the majority of businesses.