Woman refuses to help sister in 'serious financial trouble,' 'she insisted on a fairytale wedding.' AITA?
"AITA for refusing to financially support my sister after she drained her savings on an expensive wedding?"
I (29F) have always been close with my sister (32F). Recently, she got married and had a huge, extravagant wedding that she insisted on paying for herself, despite our family warning her to keep it modest. She wanted a “fairytale” day, so she drained her savings and even took out loans to make it happen.
Now, just a few months later, she’s in serious financial trouble and is asking me to help her out by covering her rent and bills for the next few months until she "gets back on her feet." The problem is, I’ve been saving for a down payment on my first home and helping her would seriously set me back.
When I told her I couldn’t afford to help, she got really upset and accused me of not caring about family. She said I’m being selfish for not stepping up when she needs me the most. Some of our relatives agree with her and think I should help because "family comes first."
I’m torn because I love my sister, but I also feel like she made her own bed here. AITA for refusing to financially bail out my sister after she chose to have an expensive wedding?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
AngelxSerena said:
NTA. Your sister's financial decisions aren't your responsibility, especially when it impacts your own future plans.
jess1804 said:
NTA. Tell the relatives who agree with her they can subsidize her life. Which one wants to pay sister's rent? What bill are they prepared to pay? Oh they don't want to give up a single penny of THEIR MONEY? Then they can kindly shut up.
facinationstreet said:
I mean, this was her plan all along. And, where is her new husband? Shouldn't he be covering rent if she can't pay? NTA.
Ok_Welder9315 said:
NTA! You’re not obligated to sacrifice your goals for her choices. It’s tough to see a loved one struggle, but she made a decision to have an extravagant wedding despite warnings. Supporting her now could jeopardize your own future, which you’ve worked hard for.
Setting boundaries is healthy, and it’s okay to prioritize your financial well-being while still being there for her emotionally. Hopefully, she can learn from this situation and find a way to get back on her feet without putting you in a difficult position.
Neurospicy_nerd said:
I love when OTHER family use “family comes first” to guilt people into financially supporting someone when they themselves, are family, who could subsequently financially support them…NTA.
RazzmatazzOk9463 said:
NTA. She’s an adult. If she couldn’t afford a big wedding she shouldn’t have had one. It’s as simple as that. She made the decision to have one and out financial strain on herself. She now needs to be an adult and make some decisions how to get herself out of this as it’s not fair for anyone else to bail her out for her shitty decision making.
Not_the_maid said:
NTA. Not caring for family? Does she not care for you? Your sister is selfish and entitled. Anyone saying "family comes first" need to give money to your sister before you do.