Woman refuses to be her sister's bridesmaid because she chose 'ugly friends.' AITA?

"AITA for refusing to be my sister’s bridesmaid because she chose 'ugly friends' to make herself look better?"

My sister (27F) is getting married and asked me (24F) to be one of her bridesmaids. I was excited — until I found out who the rest of the bridal party was. Every single one of them is someone she’s either not that close to, or has made fun of before for being “awkward” or “not photogenic.” Some of her actual best friends — the ones who she sees all the time — weren’t even asked.

It felt weird, so I asked her why she picked this group. She kind of laughed and said, “You’ll understand when it’s your wedding. You don’t want people who’ll outshine you in your own pictures.”

I just stared at her. I asked, “So you picked them because you think they’ll make you look better?” She rolled her eyes and said, “It’s not that deep. I just want to feel confident that day, and I’m allowed to be a little selfish for my wedding.”

That rubbed me the wrong way. I told her I didn’t want to be part of a bridal party built on tearing other people down — even subtly — and that she should’ve picked people she actually cares about.

Now she’s calling me judgmental and sensitive, and our mom says I’m being “too idealistic” and should just support her. But I feel like going along with it makes me complicit. AITA?

Here's what people had to say about this one:

secondarytrash said:

NTA. Some may disagree, but I don’t do the "they’re family, so I must comply even with things I don’t agree with because they’re family/it’s their day." They’re saying you’re being judgmental, but they’re literally making a judgment that anyone else would be the center of attention, but the bride.

vibeshop said:

NTA - so what does this mean about how she thinks of you? And clearly she doesn’t think much about herself? It’s so sad that women are pushed to feel and act this way when this would likely not be happening to so many grooms. Applause to you for saying something and not participating.

AVeryBrownGirlNerd said:

NTA. I would be extremely hurt if a loved one or someone I thought wanted me to be part of their special day asked me to be part of something like the wedding party, but to be used as a pawn like this. It is mean girl/catty behavior. Yes, she deserves to feel beautiful on her special day, but she's ugly on the inside for doing this, even if no one else knows. Stay strong.

lankyturtle229 said:

NTA and I'd send a message to those girls. Questions will definitely come up why none of her core group were asked and why her sister left. Because she lumped you right in with them.

Icy_Finger_6950 said:

"It's not that deep" - correct, it's incredibly shallow. "I'm entitled to be selfish because it's my wedding" is such a crappy mindset. 100% NTA. Your sister is a very ugly person on the inside.

Few_Acadia7686 said:

NTA. Although my opinion is let her do what she wants, shallow or not, she'll have to live with the choice of shunning her best friends. I'd be more offended I was asked to stand after being told that and would refuse on that basis.

GoingNutCracken said:

NTA. Your sister is the most shallow person I’ve heard about. I wouldn’t want to be a part of this bridal party either. For good measure, I’d let the other bridesmaids know why they were chosen as well.

MoreFunDip said:

NTA. My best friend is an outright stunner. Prettier than I am in just about every sense. She was my maid of honor because she’s always there for me. Sister must not have any real friends.