I 26(f) had this happen yesterday and so far my family keeps saying I'm in the wrong. So I was spending my first Saturday off in weeks planning an outing with my friends but at the last minute my sister asked if I could baby sit my twin 9 year old nephews, since her mother in law was having a medical emergency and they had to go to the hospital.
I agreed because I know her mother in law has heart issues she's already had a pacemaker put in. So I canceled my plans and my brother in law brought the kids over. Since some of my friends were already over they helped me watch my nephews and we did some family friendly activities, like watch Scooby doo, order pizza and play around with my child safe face paints along with some Mario games.
It wasn't the weekend I planned but it was fun and my nephews and friends enjoyed themselves too, thankfully my friends have met the twins before at events I've invited them too so I didn't think it was an issue that I didn't chase them out of my home the moment the boys were dropped off.
When my brother in law and sister came later that night to pick up the kids they were surprised to see my friends there and my brother in law asked if they just came back. I explained they didn't and that we just made a day of taking care of the kids.
They both gave me looks and took the kids home, me and my friends pulled out the wine and some ice cream an decided to watch horror movies. Midway through I got a text from my sister demanding to know why I let strangers around her children without letting her know, I told her she dropped the kids on me last minute and she knows the four who had come over today and that two of them live at least a hour away from us so sending them back would have been rude.
My brother in law also messaged me saying he felt uncomfortable that I allowed strange women to touch his children. They literally know my friends husbands/wives, I don't get why their making a big deal about it, but today I woke up to more messages of how I endangered the kids by having them around strangers and worst alcohol in the house.
(We got drunk and posted pictures around midnight I guess, don't remember much beyond the Insta post). Most of our relatives are saying I prioritized my friends over my nephews safety and I'm confused as f%ck, the only one on my side in weirdly my sister's mother in law who turns out never was at the hospital so I don't even know where my sister and brother in law were all day yesterday.
I don't know, the twins were dropped off on me at the last second, my friends are known by the family, we never drank or did anything adult until after the kids went home, did I seriously f-- up here? I am so confused.
Your sister's MIL is on your side because she knows your sister lied to you about a 'medical emergency.' I wouldn't be surprised if your BIL is running an offense, to distract from their lies.
Now your family are focused on what you did when babysitting, NOT you sister's lies in leaving her kids with you in the first place. Simple solution, they shouldn't ask you to babysit your nephews again, since you did such a poor job in their opinion. NTA.
NTA. You did them a favor and you didn't have the kids in a dangerous situation. You sacrificed your night & your friends were kind enough to help make it fun for the boys. Next time tell them one of them will have to stay & watch their own kids or let them pay a professional to do it.
NTA. If you're trusted to look after their kids then I'd have thought you'd be trusted not to have friends who are likely to endanger children. Have you let them know that you know they lied about going to the hospital?
NTA. Tell them that since they do not trust your judgement that you will no longer be available for babysitting. Period. I would draw this line hard and fast . Let them then depend on the Judgement of Complete strangers as their next Babysitters, Your family is being crazy...
NTA and I'd forward screen shots of those messages to said friends and tell them that apparently they are dangerous to children so they could all have a laugh over it. I'd fully understand if it was friends your family didn't know, but as you've said they do know them.
And frankly, if I'm trusting kids to my sibling, I'm also trusting that said sibling can be trusted to vouch for other people that might be around the house. If I didn't trust a sibling's judgment like that I wouldn't have them watch kids in the first place.
And the alcohol thing is just the cherry on top of the icing on the cake. Do they really think you were exposing the kids to alcohol? You specifically kept it packed away until after they left! It's like uppity drama-moms being butthurt because they saw a teacher having a drink at a restaurant on a friday night. Buddy, your fam needs a reality check, badly.
My sister's mother in law who turns out never was at the hospital so I don't even know where my sister and brother in law were all day yesterday. This is weird and concerning. Some of the things that they might want to do secretly are irresponsible or unsavory. Or...maybe they were invited somewhere and didn't want to pay a babysitter.
MIL needs to tell others that she didn't go to the hospital, and that no one knows where the sister and BIL went. If it was a party, maybe someone will tell on them. Pay attention to little things that they say for awhile, OP, and they may say something inadvertently that gives you a clue. NTA.
So people wanted an update on what happened after I spoke to my sister's MIL and basically had to force the truth out of my sister an BIL by threatening to call our parent's and well, the reason they wanted me fo babysit was extremely stupid.
So let me just give you guys a little info on my sister and BIL, before they had the twins they were into the swingers scene after they were born they stopped or that's what they told everyone.
Turns out once the twins were old enough to be left alone they would have MIL babysit while they went off to clubs, she figured it out and refused to babysit anymore so they moved onto our parents who also apparently said the same thing, they also threatened to stop helping them pay the mortgage on their house if they didn't start being better parents.
So that left me, apparently they've used me to watch the twins to go out with couples before but this time was a last minute date they had so they lied about MIL's health. The thing that started all this was due to one of our aunt's seeing them that day with the other couple and they were afraid of this getting back to me or to our parents who already told them they'd stop helping them with their mortgage if they kept up their swingers lifestyle while the twins were still little.
So when they saw me posting pictures later that night they decided to lie and say that I invited people over after I agreed to watch the twins for the week so they could have a Valentines childfree Week and spread this through the grapevine.
They hoped that people would be too busy being furious at me for being an irresponsible aunt, enough that our aunt would be to busy with the family drama to remember what she saw that day.
So yep, this was the BS they pulled on me, MIL was with me when I told my parents who are livid that my sister lied to them. Parents are telling the rest of our relatives through family chat what happened.
Their gonna talk to my sister and BIL later so I have no idea how that's gonna go, but yep apparently they made up this whole lie just to cover up the fact they went out with another couple and dumped the twins on me for it. So yeah, not the craziest update I've seen here sorry about that, but thought I'd let you guys know.
Edit: I don't care that they're swingers, I'm just annoyed that they lied to me to get me to watch my nephews
As bizarre as this is, at least it clears up the insane behavior regarding your friends.
Great update! I've never understood living the lifestyle after children. All they had to do was not lise about what you had going on and they would still be able to live the lie with everyone.
Now they stepped in it and will have to deal with the consequences. They will (should) be losing a majority of the support they were getting, if not all of it and nobody will be willing to babysit for them again, or believe them about anything. Sucks to suck.
Wowwww thats insane. I dont know how they thought this plan would actually work. Your parents and BIL's parents are probably going to completely cut them off after this stunt.
It wouldnt have been as bad if they were simply still being swingers. What makes it TERRIBLY AWFUL is the fact they lied about everything and tried to ruin your reputation on top of everything.
NTA I just went back and read the first part. Your nephews' parents are idiots. If they had not raised a stink about your friends, no one would have found out about their swinging this time. Are they gluttons for punishment, too?
They literally outed themselves. You did nothing wrong. Your friends are known to family, not strangers and they are 9 years old, not 9 months. They probably have cell phones to call their parents if needed.
It sounds like you and your friends provided a fun day for the nephews, keeping them entertained, safe, and fed. I’m glad they have a caring aunt and grandparents who will prioritize their well-being. NTA. Also, they’re old enough to figure out what their parents are up to. Kids are smart and they will notice when their parents ditch them to go party.
NTA. They shouldn't even be going out if they have someone helping them pay their mortgage. If you can't pay your mortgage, you can't go out and socialize whether it's out to dinner or swinging.