Woman refuses to loan sister 'a considerable sum' of money toward 'extravagant' wedding. AITA?
"AITA for refusing to pay for my sister's extravagant wedding?"
I (28F) come from a middle-class family, and I've always been careful with my money. My sister (26F), on the other hand, has always been more extravagant and inclined towards luxury.
Recently, my sister got engaged to her long-term boyfriend. They immediately started planning an extravagant wedding that included a destination venue, designer dresses, and a long list of expensive vendors. When she announced her plans, I was happy for her but shocked at the sheer amount of money she was planning to spend.
My parents, who are nearing retirement, offered to contribute a significant amount towards the wedding expenses, but it still left a hefty bill for my sister and her fiancé to cover. When they realized they were short on funds, they turned to me for help.
They asked me to loan them a considerable sum of money to cover the remaining costs, promising to pay me back eventually. However, I couldn't justify lending them such a large amount, especially since I knew they were fully aware of their budget when they decided on this extravagant wedding.
I explained to my sister that while I wished them the best, I couldn't afford to loan them the money. This led to a huge argument, with my sister accusing me of being selfish and unsupportive. She even accused me of not caring about her happiness. Our parents also got involved, urging me to reconsider and reminding me that family comes first. However, I stood my ground, explaining that I needed to prioritize my financial stability.
Now, my sister and some family members are giving me the cold shoulder, and I can't help but feel guilty. AITA for refusing to pay for my sister's extravagant wedding, even though it's causing tension within the family?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Quelala said:
NTA. If you cannot afford the wedding do not have the wedding. If you loan your sister the money it is a a good as gone. If everyone hates you for it skip the wedding and go on a nice vacation.
Latter_Tutor_5235 said:
NTA. It's not your wedding, you don't have to pay for it. She needs to have a wedding within her budget and stop harassing you for money.
MypuppyDaisy said:
Your parents say family comes first, but it seems only your sister does. Is she by chance the golden child? Most parents would be proud of a child who is financially responsible, not the one who wastes money. Just stay firm and make sure it won’t be your money she’s wasting. Also, never let your family know how much you have in savings. They seem very entitled to it. NTA.
Katana1369 said:
Unless you're the one actually getting married, you don't need to pay a dime towards the wedding. NTA.
Z_is_green13 said:
NTA. Your sister is about to take one of the major steps of adulthood. It is not on you to teach her budgeting basics and you should not sacrifice your financial security for something so frivolous and so unimportant in YOUR life. Your parents are just mad because they can’t say no and they are going to be bled dry for a marriage that only has a 50% chance of working anyway.
BeardManMichael said:
NTA. Eventually can be a VERY long time. They need to have a wedding that is properly budgeted.