Woman REFUSES to take paternity test for ex-husband; 'You and your wife can TAKE ME TO COURT.' AITA? UPDATED

When this woman is furious with her ex-husband, she asks the internet:

"AITAH for refusing to do a paternity test on my children?"

My ex husband and I have three children. It was a difficult split as he left while I was pregnant with our twins and he tried to make everything as difficult as possible.

He and his wife are wanting me to do a paternity test on the children as they are disputing that our youngest is his and he no longer wants to pay child support for her. Him wanting to reduce his child support has been an ongoing issue.

For the last five years, he hasn't had a problem regarding the paternity of any of our children. He's now stating that he doesn't think that our daughter is his and that I have cheated because 'she doesn't look like him'.

She doesn't look much like me either, she's got green eyes like I do. Both of us are pale with light coloured hair and eyes. Our daughter has dark hair that is thick and curly.

She looks mixed race and she's the only one who looks this way. Her twin brother looks like my ex husband. My daughter looks like my grandmother who was mixed race and was white passing.

I'll be honest that he and his wife do not get along. I mean it is hard to get along with the woman who your husband left you for. She keeps trying to shove herself in my children's lives and acting like their mum.

She keeps insisting that she's 'mama' and they should refer to her as that, they have refused to call her that which always ends it my ex calling me frustrated that the children won't give her respect.

She's recently been pointing out that my youngest looks darker than her siblings and has been suggesting that my youngest isn't my ex husband's. I'm close with my former SIL (Ex's brother's wife) and she told me before my ex did that he wanted a paternity test and was going to stop paying child support for her.

She's also said that ex and his wife are once again having money issues. This was something I had already suspected as he had stopped taking them on his weekends as he was having to work overtime.

Before people tell me to document this, I have everything documented. I refuse to answer calls from him which forces him to either text or email me so that I can keep conversation records as I don't trust him.

After I found out about him wanting a paternity test, I told him that I wasn't going to consent to him doing a paternity test on the children and the only way he was getting one is if he took me to court.

He told me that it was clear our daughter wasn't his and that she didn't look like her siblings, he argued that he couldn't afford court and I was holding his money hostage by forcing him to pay for a child who isn't his.

He has now apparently been whining about me on Facebook about how I cheated on him and am forcing him to raise another man's child and forced him to 'sign the birth certificate' - I didn't, he wasn't even there but as we were still married I could put him on without him being there.

I don't follow him, I had one of his friends try and confront me about it. I want my children to have a relationship with their dad and I feel like this is stopping them. Though on the other hand, I know there will be something else he (or his wife) takes issue with down the line. AITAH for refusing to do a paternity test?

Edit: I thought I'd put this in my post but I didn't, really should have proof read this rather than posting in anger. My ex wants me to pay for the paternity test, he doesn't want to because of his financial situation which is why I told him to take it to court and get a court mandated one.

I know if I was to pay for it then he would want another one because he'll think that I tampered with it as I paid for it. He did the same with when I had the house valued so I could give him half. He didn't like what the first person valued it at so had to get another. I know I haven't cheated on him and she is his.

I know some didn't like me referring to her as my youngest. Both her and her brother don't like being referred to as twins or as one so I don't refer to them as such. Since they were toddlers they have been very independent from each other and want to be treated as such. She is not my only daughter, my eldest is also a girl.

Update 1 (2 weeks later):

So I did not expect so many comments on my last post. After I posted in my frustration over the paternity test situation, my ex husband (we'll call him Jim) and his wife kept trying to get me to consent to and pay for the paternity test.

I refused to pay because I know Jim, when the result isn't what he wants he will accuse me of tampering with the results. When I kept saying no, they ran to whoever would listen complaining about me and how I was forcing them to pay for a child that wasn't Jim's.

For those who may not have read my last post, the child is question is my youngest daughter and a twin. Jim does not contest that her twin brother is his. But apparently along with being a bitch over this, I'm also a cat. News to me. Honestly didn't think he was that much of an idiot but here we are.

Jim kept complaining to his dad (Mick) and brother about me and how I was being financially abusive by taking money from him for a child that wasn't his and refusing to pay for the paternity test.

Now Mick and I get on very well. He adores his grandchildren, they also adore him, and I have never attempted to stop them having a relationship, unlike Jim who often attempts to weaponize the children. I get very well with Jim's family and we are close, his SIL (his brother's wife) and I are very close, she's the sister I never had (only child problems).

Mick asked if he was to pay for a paternity test, if I would allow it to happen. Mick explained that he wasn't accusing me of anything but he was fed up of seeing Jim and his wife drag me every chance they got.

He understood why I was refusing and agreed with me. I agreed but stated that Jim should chose the company that the paternity test is done through and I didn't want to know which one was chosen. That way I wasn't involved.

So we had the paternity test. Mick paid for all three children to be tested, and had them tested with the private company Jim chose and then a private company Mick's lawyer recommended. Mick explained he did this so that if Jim started arguing against the results calling them fake then Mick had another set to back them up. And what do you know, all three children are Jim's.

Since we've gotten the results Jim has tried arguing that they're wrong and that youngest definitely isn't his. He has also been taking to Facebook to complain about me and is threatening to take me to court for fraud - the man couldn't afford to pay for a paternity test.

He definitely can't afford a lawyer to take me to court, but I'd like to see him try. Former SIL has been screenshotting some of his comments and sending them over to me which we've been having a giggle over, especially since one of the things Jim has whining about is finding out I've been dating a former friend of his. I say former because he (along with some others) were cut out by Jim's wife.

Jim's upset because I am 'alienating him from the children by dating someone new', coming from the man who left me when I was pregnant for his now wife who keeps trying to insist she is 'mama' to my children.

My children only met my boyfriend for the first time this weekend, after we had been dating for a year. Before people jump to Jim's defence and claim I am alienating him, I've never stopped him seeing or communicating with the children. He's the one that decides when he's interested in being their dad.

So yeah, unsurprisingly my children are Jim's. Jim's still an idiot. The children are happy as they're off to have a sleep over at their grandad's with cousins, while I get to have wine and spend the evening catching up with former SIL. Jim and his wife are still mouthing off on social media but its falling on deaf ears for the most part.

RELEVANT COMMENTS

[deleted]

He left when you were pregnant with twins but doesn’t believe the youngest is his? I didn’t read past that because that doesn’t make sense to me. Wouldn’t the twins then be the youngest?

OOPThat's correct. She is the younger of my twins

[deleted]So he thinks only one of the twins isn’t his?

OOPYep, he only thinks one of the twins is his. I wish I could explain why he thinks that but he was never the smartest