Woman refuses to pay friend's MOH after she dropped out of bachelorette, 'STOP WHINING.' AITA? MINI UPDATE
"AITA for refusing to pay my friend’s Maid of Honor because someone else dropped out of attendance?"
One of my close friends is getting married and we’re having a bachelorette party for her. I’m flying in from another country. When we all committed to attending, we were asked if we wanted shared rooms or individual rooms.
I said a shared room, as did at least two other attendees that I know of out of 7. I paid the maid of honor for my shared room several months ago. Since then I’ve been part of a layoff, basically I don’t have a ton of money to spend.
My roommate pulled out and the maid of honor is now demanding an additional $500 from me. I’ve said no, and offered other alternatives, like they could invite someone else in the friend’s place, or they could downsize and get a less expensive place for everyone to stay.
Especially because now everyone has a full room to themselves, and most are paying more than they would want to. The maid of honor told me that I should have a credit card to just put this on, but I’ve always had a debit card as I try not to get into debt.
When I suggested other suggestions, the maid of honor got really mad at me, everything from saying she could uninvite me to the wedding, to saying condescending things like telling me to stop whining and crying and worse things I won’t write here. I blocked her. AITA for not paying the MOH?
UPDATE:
The other friend never paid for a spot. Everyone has their own room now, even people who wanted to share initially. I’ve now been told all accommodations are sold out so downsizing isn’t a feasible option.
Bride is still one of my favorite humans on the planet and said she’ll have a chat with MOH who she described as aggressive, mean and abrasive.
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
appleboosh said:
NTA. If someone else pulled out, I don’t see how that becomes your problem even if you were going to be rooming with them. In my circles, if someone pulls out of a non-refundable booking that they’d already committed to, then the payment is still their responsibility because they made that commitment.
An alternative is that everyone who is still attending chips in to cover the difference and the cost is spread evenly, but everyone would have to agree. Otherwise they can just invite someone else.
CheckIntelligent7828 said:
NTA. Talk to your friend. I get it, the MOH is handling this because the bride is meant to be kept out somewhat out of planning. But, that ended when the MOH moved to bullying and threatening.
I'd check in with the bride. Is she cool with the MOH threatening to remove you? When you're the bride's friend, not hers? Is she okay with the bullying? For me, either the bride steps in and stops this nonsense or you voluntarily drop out of the wedding. Being a bridesmaid is not worth being treated this way.
DogsandCatsWorld1000 said:
NTA. You are innocent. However "Bride is still one of my favorite humans on the planet and said she’ll have a chat with MOH who she described as aggressive, mean and abrasive" does not compute. If the Bride put someone in charge that she herself describes as "aggressive, mean and abrasive," she bares some responsibility for their behavior. What wonderful qualities does she have to balance that out?
notthedefaultname said:
NTA, and please talk to the bride. Say you're really upset because you want to celebrate with her, and already paid your share, and tell her what MOH is threatening. This is one of those situations where you do have to involve the bride, because the MOH is massively overstepping threatening to disinvite you from some one else's wedding.
jeremyism_ab said:
NTA but if there are others who were willing to share rooms, you should be put together. If there are non refundable rooms, those people that backed out after committing are the ones the MOH needs to collect from.
Bitter-Paramedic-531 said:
NTA. This happened to me. The person I was sharing with decided not to attend at the last minute, and I was looked at to pay the other half of the room. Hard non. It simply wasn't in my budget. I didn't choose my roommate. I didn't organise the trip. I paid what I committed to and left the bridesmaids to sort it out with the non-attendee.