'AITA for dismissing my sister who said I need to rename my son because it's on her list?'
"AITA for dismissing my sister who said I need to rename my son because it's on her list?"
This is so petty but maybe I went too far. I (26f) have an older sister Jade (28f) who is not in a relationship, is not pregnant and is not planning to have kids anytime soon. While I had my son a few days ago. I'm not close to my family.
There's a very big golden child thing with Jade and my parents really should have stopped at their one perfect darling kid (what they call her) because I got the short end of the stick with them always.
So when they found out my son's name is Finnick, Jade came and told me I could not call him Finnick and needed to rename my son because Finnick is on her baby boy name list so she's going to use it one day and not me. I laughed in her face and told her to leave and dismissed her request by saying she had no authority in this.
My parents decided to jump in the next day and they told me I should listen to my sister and choose another name to be a good sister to Jade. They said to think about how Jade would feel and she prides herself on that list.
I decided to bring some snark into this and my response was simply that if Jade wants to own the rights to names then she better get rich fast and buy those names because otherwise she cannot stop people from using the ones on her list, not even me. For the record, I know it doesn't work like that.
My parents started to freak out over this and basically told me I was being a bully saying things like that and how dare I dismiss Jade. I threw them out too. And what followed was texts from Jade and my parents saying I had no reason to treat them so rudely. I blocked them. I might be done. But did I go too far? AITA?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
PowerfullyWeak said:
NTA. If you looked over your sister's list and told her certain names were off limits because they were on YOUR list, would she offer you the same benefit? Of course not.
This is the action of a child who was given special treatment by your parents and never told "no" in life. She grew up into an adult who doesn't seem to comprehend that there are other people in the world and you cannot dictate the "terms" of another person's life.
You name your baby whatever it is you wish to name them. You tell your sister that she survived the millions of other people having the same name as her future baby, so she'll survive yours if you happen to choose that name.
Revolutionary-Dog835 said:
NTA. You didn't go too far. They went too far with this stupid demand. You go ahead and name your beautiful baby boy Finnick with a great big capital F. Throw in middle names from the men in your family too for good measure so she can't have them either.
And to your parents I would say something along the lines of... "If you don't back off, imagine the reaction of my son in the future when he asks why there aren't any photos of him and his grandparents when he was a baby...
It's because they tried to force me not to name you Finnick because it was on a list of possible names their favourite child, your aunty, had at the time for her potential future kids." Even a 5 year old would know this is stupid. Absolute lunacy. And your sister is a brat.
Nrysis said:
NTA. The name is on Jade's list? Funnily enough, it is also on your list too, and you have equal right to use it as she does - you got there first, you get the name. If Jade had given birth to a baby and chosen 'your' name, would she be changing it for you?
SamBartlett1776 said:
NTA. Tell your sister and parents that Jade can use the name too because those cousins will never meet.
Tattedtail said:
If you didn't know it was on her list, then NTA. If you did know and used it anyway... I personally still think NTA, but I know some people get really attached to their lists of names. Also, Jane "prides herself on that list"?? Does she not have anything else going for her?
AdditionalSet84 said:
NTA - if it were that important to her she would/could have told you that well before you had your son. My sister isn’t pregnant (will be trying next year) but I am. She has requested we don’t use a particular name because it is a family name for her partner's family.
It was our top choice of boys name but because she asked us WELL before we had chosen we were happy to “give” her that name. Your sister could have done the same thing. Turns out I’m having a girl so wasn’t an issue this time round and we could have raced to a boy next time. Haha (totally joking there).
diminishingpatience said:
NTA. I don't see how else you could have responded to nonsense on such a grand scale.
Initial-Ad2243 said:
Oh lawd NTA. Your family are a bunch of circus psychos! A family member of mine named their daughter the same name as my son, did I crack it? Did I demand they change it? No, know why? CAUSE NO ONE OWNS A NAME!!!!
This Family member of mine and I were never close, they saw my short list of names and used my top name. Did it annoy me? Nope, my baby was born first. Sweetie, pay them no mind. Congratulations of your beautiful baby.