Woman refuses to support friend's wedding because of comments about fiancé, 'he's just not her type.' AITA?

"AITA for telling my friend I won't support her wedding plans because of her behavior towards my fiancé?"

I (28F) have a close friend, "Sarah" (27F), who recently got engaged. I was thrilled for her and offered to help with her wedding planning. I expected her to be open to suggestions and appreciate my input. However, over the past few months, I have noticed some concerning behavior from her toward my fiancé, "Jake" (30M).

It started with her making passive-aggressive comments about his hobbies and interests, which I brushed off at first. But then, she began to make snide remarks about our relationship, claiming that I could “do better” and that Jake was “just not her type.” It felt like she was consistently trying to undermine my happiness. I confronted her about it, and while she apologized, the comments continued over time.

I eventually decided enough was enough. Over coffee last week, I privately told her that I wouldn't be able to support her wedding plans or participate in any events if she couldn’t treat Jake with respect. It was an emotional conversation, and she was upset. I explained that friendships are about mutual respect, and if she couldn’t respect my relationship, then I couldn’t support her big day.

Now, she’s been spreading word among our friend group, painting me as a “bad friend” and insisting that I should simply be happy for her regardless of her comments. Some friends are siding with her, stating that I overreacted and should have just let it go.

I feel justified in my decision, but I can’t help but wonder if I could have handled it differently. AITA for standing up for my fiancé and expressing my feelings about not supporting her wedding plans?

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

MysticScorpion183 said:

NTA, she overstepped and you stood your ground. You’ve done right by your fiancé and I wish you both a happy married life!

ClaresRaccoon said:

NTA. YOUR fiancé not being her type is irrelevant. She isn’t marrying him, you are.

ladyfoxred_96560 said:

NTA. You set a clear boundary: if she can't respect your fiancé, you can't support her wedding. Friendships are built on mutual respect, and her repeated jabs at Jake even after you confronted her show she doesn't respect your relationship.

She doesn’t get to insult your partner and still expect unwavering support. If she truly valued your friendship, she would’ve corrected her behavior instead of playing the victim.

Bookaholicforever said:

NTA. Why does it matter if Jake isn’t her type? She isn’t dating him!

Peachesl732 said:

NTA She was being disrespectful and she wanted you to be ok with her talking down on your fiance. She is not your friend it's time to just cut her off.

Anxious-Routine-5526 said:

Why does Jake need to be Sarah's type? He isn't her fiancé. Sarah doesn't have to like Jake, but as your friend, she does need to show him basic respect as a person as well as respect your relationship. She overstepped, and you corrected her, as you should. Sarah doesn't get to demand unconditional support and friendship without reciprocating. NTA.

londomollaribab5 said:

I think you handled it perfectly. I hope you will never have to set eyes on her again. You are a gem for standing up for Your Fiancé! NTA.