Being unemployed unintentionally is the worst. Being unemployed intentionally is excellent. Being unemployed intentionally and having others chime in with their opinions is annoying.
I (24f) currently stay with my dad at his summer house. My dad's wife Monica is also here. To be clear, neither Monica nor I have jobs.
Monica has always had an issue with my unemployment. According to my dad, she thinks it shouldn't be the case and that my dad should pressure me to get a job, which he has declined to do. She has made the odd thinly veiled comment about it which I've ignored.
Being all that as it is, two days ago, I was out by the pool, and Monica came over to sit with me, which was pretty odd. She asked what I planned on doing for the rest of the summer, and I said I was having several friends come and visit after she went home.
She asked how we all had so much free time and returned the conversation to 'work.' I was calmly dodging her barbed comments and told her if my dad didn't care about my having a job, she shouldn't either.
Monica then said that even if he weren't pushing, he would be 'proud of me earning my own money', frankly setting me off. I turned to her and said, 'Do you think my dad would be proud of me 'earning' money the way you do?' She got very flustered and went inside.
She went to my dad in tears and told him what I said. My dad was initially on my side and said she should mind her own business, but she's still upset and not speaking to anyone. My dad thinks I should now apologise because she's learnt her lesson and won't try it again, but it's time to make peace because she feels uncomfortable.
I think she messed around and found out and is dragging this out. If I don't need an apology for her inappropriate behavior, I don't see why she needs one for my reaction. Am I being an AH by not apologising?
I don't live with my dad full time; I visit him during the summer between traveling because the house is central to many destinations. I don't live with him for the rest of the year. Regarding my 'life of leisure,' I have a degree and three qualifications in art and design, and I do internships at fashion/auction houses. I have and do 'work' periodically, just not for money.
Here are some of the top comments from:
ClothesQueasy2828 says:
NTA (Not the A%#hole). Apologize for what? Commenting on her employment status after she commented on yours?
Repeat4Reps says:
She should have dropped it after your dad declined to intervene. He is your parent; she is not; it's not her place. That being said, however, you're 24.
I assume you're still living with a parent. It wouldn't be such a bad idea to start working and fly the nest. You can be a SAHM later. NTA.
Corrotland says:
How does the one supporting OP have no problem with it, but the one who’s also benefited and is unemployed, just like OP, wants to put in their two cents? If it works for them, it works. It's nobody's business. NTA.
OP, work sometimes but not for money? I want your life.