Bride refuses to apologize to ten strangers at her wedding, 'you weren't invited.'

My in-laws invited ten of their friends to my wedding without telling me.

SignificanceMany1470 writes:

I married my husband last weekend after about a year of planning. The ceremony went off perfectly, even with kids in the church. The formal photos weren't delayed.

No one got drunk and wrecked anything. No one insisted on bringing their emotional support goat. The only hitch was that my in-laws invited about ten extra people without telling us.

Not relatives or anything, just friends of theirs we did not invite since we don't know them. I did not notice them at the ceremony, and it wasn't until the reception that there were issues.

There was no seating for them. Our best man and groomsmen found a folding table and chairs for them to sit at. There was food; we went with a buffet. Still, since we sent the tables to eat by number and they didn't have a number, they were served last after everything had been picked over.

My in-laws were embarrassed that their friends were being treated that way. I, very politely, asked them what they expected when they invited people without informing the people planning and paying for the wedding.

They said we needed to go and apologize for their treatment. I said I would, but I would also explain that they had not actually been invited. If they wanted their guests told anything else, then they had to go explain.

They are upset with me. My husband has my back 100%. I think I could have been more gracious, but I also think it should not have fallen on us to deal with it.

OP responded to a questions:

FritosRule says:

Who the f%#k invites ten extra people to a wedding on their own initiative???? NTA (Not the A%#hole)) and WTF. But question- your buffet sent tables by number? Was that more of a crowd control thing? I ask because every wedding/bar mitzvah buffet I’ve been to was “it’s open, go get on line”

OP says:

More or less. It was easier to have twenty people at the buffet at one time than two hundred.

ExcitingEvidence8815 says:

NTA at all! Wow the entitlement of your in-laws is amazing. Who invites a bunch of extras to a wedding then gets upset they had no food or place to sit? You don't owe anyone an apology.

Old-Smokey-42069 says:

Your in-laws are of course entirely out of line and are the a%#holes here. The people they invited are also a%#holes for even showing up! They did not receive an actual invite. Is this their first day on earth?

Do they not know how weddings work? They didn’t think it was odd that their “invitation” was a verbal one from the grooms parents, and not a physical paper one sent in the mail by the couple? NTA.

definitelywitch says:

NTA. They invited people without telling anyone and wanted you to apologize for lack of place to sit, lol. You were indeed extremely gracious and polite not telling them they must be completely mad.

catskilkid says:

NTA. Not only did we invite 10 strangers, but you need to drop everything on during your wedding reception (its not like your stressed or doing anything else) and apologize to these freeloaders that they had to go to the buffet line last.

NOPE!!! You should think about inviting strangers over to their house next time they have a gathering.

What do you think should, OP, have accepted responsibility for her in-law's mistake?