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Woman refuses to attend friend's 'man-free' wedding, 'she hung up.' AITA?

Woman refuses to attend friend's 'man-free' wedding, 'she hung up.' AITA?

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"AITA for refusing to attend my friend's 'man-free' wedding?"

My (30F) friend "Lisa" (34F) is marrying her fiancée "Sophie" (35F) in two months. I've known both of them for several years and I am (or at least was until this whole debacle) quite close with Lisa so I was not surprised that they've invited me to the wedding. However, on the invitation it was noted that it's a "man-free" event, meaning that no men are allowed to be there.

Despite not being a man myself, I felt that it was a weird decision on their part. I'm also on good terms with Lisa's brother (28M), so I texted him to ask if he knows what's up with that whole thing and if at least brides' families are exceptions to the no men rule.

Apparently both him and his and Lisa's father are not invited (he doesn't know about Sophie's family but assumes it's the same with them) and he has no idea what prompted the rule, he says that at present it has (imo understandably) turned into a whole family dispute.

I think I wouldn't have gone anyway because not allowing the presence of any men at all just feels weird to me, but especially in light of the information I got from Lisa's brother I called her to say that I will be unfortunately unable to attend.

She asked me why and I tried to make up a good excuse, but I'm a sh%tty liar so after she pressed me for a reason I told her the truth - that I think the no men rule is weird and I don't want to be involved in that. I did not tell her that I contacted her brother, just that I'm not a fan of events segregated by gender.

Lisa has told me that I'm not being a good friend to her because I'm not supportive of her and Sophie wanting their wedding to be fully centered on women. I told her that it would be centered on women anyway, considering that both of the people getting married are women.

She hung up and I have not heard from her since, but Sophie has been sending messages saying I have internalized misogyny. I personally think I behaved reasonably, but Lisa and Sophie evidently disagree, so am I the ahole in this situation?

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

IndividualDevice9621 said:

NTA, if it's a hill she wants to die on the friendship isn't worth trying to save.

OpportunityCalm6825 said:

NTA. You feel uncomfortable but respected their decision, so you chose not to go. She shouldn't pressure you.

LuigiMPLS said:

NTA. Pretty rich saying you have internalized misogyny when they're the ones discriminating against a whole gender.

Proper_Fun_977 said:

NTA You were not comfortable and you declined. Easy as that.

Frequent_Ad6084 said:

NTA at all. They are trying to make some weird statement, but it’s not working. They are isolating family who clearly care about them, and for what? I wouldn’t participate in that garbage either. Hell of a dumb way to start your marriage, but good luck to them, I guess.

Sufficient-Bar-7399 said:

You are not required to go along with every "rule" that other people have in their life. I feel bad for Lisa's dad and brother.

Sources: Reddit
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