Woman refuses to give entitled stepdaughter a job her company husband says that's 'unfair,' demands special treatment. UPDATED

Woman asks if she's wrong for not hiring her stepdaughter out of nepotism?

NervousCheesecake692 writes:

My stepdaughter Mia, who is now 23, has dreamt of working in the fashion world since she was young. I married her father when she was 15. She has taken many courses to improve herself, and I must say she's good at picking fabrics and colors. However, she isn't skilled at designing; she excels more as a stylist than a designer.

I started my business about 16 years ago. It began very small and on a low budget, but I've been fortunate enough to expand it to its current size. While it's not the largest company out there, it's significant in my region.

As part of my expansion plan, I've hired other young designers. My team and I are quite selective about who we hire because the designs are products we sell, so quality is paramount. While I have the authority to make hiring decisions, I prefer to collaborate with others to make informed choices.

My husband asked me to consider hiring Mia as a designer in my company. From the outset, I knew Mia wasn't a strong designer, but I agreed to have her apply for the position and submit her portfolio for review by myself and the team.

My husband seemed surprised by my decision to have her apply rather than immediately accepting his request, but he informed Mia, who sent a thank-you text.

I'm uncertain whether my husband misled her or if she sent the text to guilt-trip me; regardless, I responded by informing her that we would evaluate her work constructively and wished her luck. On the day of the review, Mia's work didn't meet our criteria, so she received an email informing her that she wasn't accepted.

This triggered a heated exchange between my husband and me. He accused me of unfairness and insisted I should have made an exception for Mia. However, bending the rules for her would damage my credibility with my employees and compromise the integrity of our selection process.

Moreover, Mia's skills lag behind those of our other designers, and including her would risk their respect and pose ethical and financial challenges for the company. Mia later sent me a lengthy text expressing her disappointment and severing ties with me.

OP gave an update answering some common questions:

Can she work as a stylist/assistant designer? Yes, she can apply, but designers choose their team members, not me. She didn't contact me directly; her father did. When she approached me later, I informed her that her work would be evaluated impartially.

Can she intern or work as an amateur designer? No, we only hire established designers, not students. Mia sought a job, not help, mentoring, or opinions. I provided her with a professional evaluation process. While I anticipated her failure, experiencing this process is valuable.

Although I have the authority to hire without consulting my team, I adhere to my standards and values. Bypassing the selection process would damage my integrity and reputation.

OP responded to some comments:

Electrical-Aioli6045 says:

NTA (Not the A%$@ole). Your husband is delusional. Yes, Mia took courses, she's put in work, but her designs aren't a good fit for your company. And how many people graduate from fashion institutes every year? How may of them get a job as a designer right out of the gate? Or ever?

It's like designing Alfred Dunner type clothing, but trying to get a job designing for Ann Taylor. It's not going to happen. Her designs might fit somewhere else, but not everyone will be interested.

OneEyedMilkman87 says:

NTA. Your business your rules. Some people are happy to hire family, but you have a standard and she didn't meet it. She also sounds very entitled. Imagine expecting a job on the basis of knowing the owner, and upon those expectations not being met, lashing out. Sheesh.

OP responded:

Specially that this job purely thrives on skills. Even if I included her she wouldn’t make money because she won’t sell.

lalapocalypse says:

Correct me if I'm wrong but isn't the fashion industry really cut throat with rejections left and right around every corner when you submit someting? Getting rejected must def sting but it's a lesson she probably needed if she's serious about the field. NTA.

OP responded:

Yeah I have 20 designers from 2K+ applications.

Shelltrice says:

NTA. It doesn't sound like you at any time gave her any false hope. As a fan of that tv competition design show, there are many people who would like this career, but do not have the talent. It is not just a learned skill.

Are there non design positions in your company that would give her an opportunity to see what actually goes on? Like an intern or something? If not - do not risk your professional reputation. I am sorry her and your husband cannot see it.

What do you think? Should OP give her stepdaughter a job?