Woman refuses to pay $45 for a coke and half an appetizer; husband calls her cheap.

I refused to pay $45 for a coke and half an appetizer and now my husband thinks I'm cheap.

moonstone_magic writes:

Last weekend, one of my friends organized a group outing for some fall activities. We rented a van and visited a few breweries and wineries.

Upon returning, we decided to stop at a pub for a while before heading home. There were around 12 of us, so they seated us at a large table. People began ordering food and drinks, enjoying themselves. When the check arrived, one of the guys promptly handed over his card and, after signing, looked around and said, "Okay, everyone Venmo me $45."

This caught me off guard because many people had ordered various items, including meals, sides, drinks, and shots. I, for instance, had only ordered a diet coke (as I had to drive 1.5 hours home) and shared an appetizer with my husband.

I politely asked if my husband and I could Venmo him separately for what we had ordered, and he appeared a bit annoyed. Nevertheless, he sent everyone a picture of the receipt and had everyone Venmo him for their individual orders.

For context, I'm perfectly fine with splitting the bill evenly when everyone's orders are roughly similar. However, if I ever put my card down, I usually ASK everyone if they want to split it evenly or not, rather than assuming.

My husband believes I'm being overly cautious about money and that I should have just agreed to split the bill evenly with everyone. I'm aware that I tend to be more mindful of expenses than others, so I'm wondering, am I the one at fault here?

Do you agree with the top comments?

theitguy1968 says:

NTA (Not the A%#hole). Why should you pay for other peoples food? Just pay for what you had. Was your husband expected to pay as well?

Encartrus says:

NTA This is not a "you're cheap" but a "he's greedy." I bet he ate more than 45 dollars worth of food. As a general rule, anyone who offers to pay for the entire table without being asked and without there being a need is either 1) covering everyone and being super generous or 2) pulling some kind of bullsh%t like this.

The only benefit to paying with one tab when everyone was prepared to pay separately and then doing Venmo after is to farm credit card benefit points and/or try to get your bill free/steal a small amount from everyone at the table.

Ok-Platypus8666 says:

NTA, this happened a lot at a company I used to work for. My boss would always say they'd pay and we could split the bill later, turns out they wanted the credit card points they'd earn for a large purchase.

They would also occasionally do things like forget the receipt or say they left a really good tip so everyone would throw in extra for tip and tax. After awhile we were pretty sure they were using it to pay for their own portion. I ask for my own bill at my first interaction with the server now no matter who I'm with.

What do you think? Was OP right to not pay $45 for her coke and app, or should she have paid the $45?