Having a baby is very expensive. Checkups, hospital stays, and post-natal care all add up. Unless you live in a country with a public healthcare system, it becomes very affordable and won't cost you your kidney.
She writes:
I(28F) just had my first baby two months ago. My sister (33F) had her third baby less than a week ago. Now to the relevant background: when I was 18, I came to France on an exchange program, and I just fell in love with the country. Then I decided to go to college, met my husband, and moved here permanently.
My sister hated the fact that I had left the US. She took any opportunity to trash talk France, 'socialism and communism,' trash talk my husband and his family, etc. It got to the extent that I went low communication with her.
When I had my kid, my parents came to stay with me for a month. My mom was very impressed that we paid nothing to have this baby. I didn't have to pay for my checkups, mandatory lab work, birth, hospital stay, and post-natal care, including pelvic floor rehab. I didn't even have to pay for a preventative dentist appointment. The same thing in the US would cost tens of thousands of dollars.
Anyways, they left directly for my sister's, she needed help (she had some health scare), and they planned to stay with her until she gave birth and then help with the kids for a while. I called to congratulate her when she gave birth and sent a gift. She was pissy even then.
Then yesterday, she called me and told me that her hospital bills were over $20k because of some complications and that it wasn't fair that I didn't pay anything at all (apparently, my mom kept saying that it was free for me). She said since I didn't have to spend a cent, I could afford to help her, so she too could afford to stay with her kid instead of returning to work ASAP.
Here's where I might be the AH; even though I could afford to send her a couple of thousands, I refused to do so purely because of how much she looked down on my decision to move to France and marry a French man. So all I told her was, 'Sorry I can't help you. But you are free to come to give birth to your next child here. Even as a foreigner, it won't cost you more than 3k.' She called me a condescending AH and said she would go no contact with me. So AITA?
The internet will answer cross-continent feuds.
Prudent_Border5060 says:
NTA. Your sister had two other children. She knows the cost in the US. Your finances aren't tied to her in any way. She needs to keep her entitlement in her lane.
housemusick says:
NTA. You’re not responsible for others’ medical bills. She’s acting out of jealousy and selfishness. 'yOu cAn AfFoRd iT' is the dumbest reason to give a handout to someone who doesn’t deserve it.
AgentAlpo says:
NTA. She trashes socialism but wants to reap the benefits of socialized medicine.
elineelmo says:
NTA, she bullied you into going LC, and then she comes begging for money? That is toxic. You did the right thing; otherwise, she would beg for more money in the future. Congrats on the baby! Focus on your child; she also should.
You should ask her to apologize to all the socialists out there before you give her money, OP.