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'AITA for not wanting to pay full price for a wedding where I'm the plus-one?'

'AITA for not wanting to pay full price for a wedding where I'm the plus-one?'


"AITA for refusing to shell out money for a wedding where I'm the +1?"

I (24F) have been dating my boyfriend (29M) for 5 months. His friend is getting married and my boyfriend was invited to the wedding with a +1.

I have only met the couple maybe once or twice and have had no real conversations with them. They have never showed interest in getting to know me although I have tried. So they are practically strangers to me.

The wedding is a couple states away from us. A group of my boyfriend’s friends, who are also in different states, got an Airbnb to split to attend the wedding, which I was not included in the planning of place or the cost of the house.

The house was chosen and paid for before I was asked to come. The split for everyone would be ~$475. Everyone was already expecting to pay $475, me out of the picture.

When I was asked to attend they decided it should be $400 and everyone pay that. So if I were to come I would knock $75 off of everyone’s part. I was not part of any decision making. I would have gotten a much cheaper hotel room with just my boyfriend.

My boyfriend asked me to be his +1 but I would have to take off two days of work and pay $400, as my part of the Airbnb, because my boyfriend’s friend group decided to split it evenly between all people.

My thought, which is a metaphor, is it that every invitee was getting a piece of the pie, but my boyfriend and I are sharing a piece of pie.

I told my boyfriend that I shouldn’t have to pay $400 to watch strangers get married. Especially when every moment is going to be taken up by wedding weekend activities so this was no vacation.

I asked him to talk about the costs with his friends and their thoughts about the situation. Him and all of his friends berated me saying that I needed to pay my fair share and calling me stupid for even suggesting I didn’t pay the full share.

I am 5 years younger than everyone in that friend group and not able to just throw money around for trips like this. I brought up the point that if I didn’t go that no one except my boyfriend would notice and they would have to split the additional cost amongst them anyways.

Not to mention I wouldn’t be taking up additional space because I was going to be sharing a room with my boyfriend.

If it was pay by bed then it would be a conversation with just my boyfriend but when it’s pay equally when I was never even involved in the decision is where I was asking for adjustments.

I am not asking the friends to foot the bill for anything, I am asking my boyfriend to talk to his friends about keeping the original split. I would work out costs or anything else with just my boyfriend. So AITA for not wanting to pay a full price to be a +1?

Here's what the jury of internet strangers had to say about this one...

rbrancher2 said:

YWBTA if you went and didn't pay. Look, if you go, you pay. If you don't want to pay, don't go. It's pretty simple, really.

jrm1102 said:

YTA - If you don’t want to go, don’t pay. If you don’t care about the couple, don’t go. If you can’t afford it, don’t go.

Timely_Zombie4153 said:

ESH. If you can't afford it then tell your boyfriend and don't go. Simple really. If he pressures you then he can pay for it. All in all you don't sound like you want to attend this wedding.

As for not being named in the invitation, you said these people were strangers to you and you've only been dating your bf for 5 months. I think that's your answer to why you weren't specifically invited.

They haven't had the time to get to know you. Your BF sucks for pressuring you and then allowing his friends to call you stupid.

Boring-Magazine-1821 said:

YTA. Why should your bf’s friends pay for you? It’s not paying for the wedding but personal travel costs to enjoy the event. But if you can’t afford it your bf is also in the wrong for not caring about it enough.

baobab77 said:

YTA. You should have never had your bf reach out to his friends about covering your cost. It comes off as juvenile and entitled.

Your boyfriend should have never agreed to the costs without making sure that he can cover them or that you would be ok with them. If you can't afford it or simply don't want to spend your money like this, skip the wedding.

Dilv1sh said:

YTA - You seem to be overthinking the +1 and are rather entitled. If you don't want to go, don't go. But be ready to be returned the favour when any of your friends get married.

So, there you have it...

While the opinions were slightly divided, most people agreed that this woman would be wrong to refuse to contribute to the Airbnb and if she doesn't want to 'watch strangers get married,' I'm sure the couple planning this wedding would happy save the money on her dinner.

Sources: Reddit
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