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Woman reminds divorced cousin of custody arrangement after snide comment on Christmas. AITA?

Woman reminds divorced cousin of custody arrangement after snide comment on Christmas. AITA?


"AITA for saying that my cousin needs to actually have custody in order to bring her daughter to Christmas dinner?"

I (20F) am a mom to a baby girl, "Olivia" (2F) and she ended up getting an ear infection, so I asked a friend to babysit during the evening while I went to Christmas dinner with my family. I was only planning to stay for two hours to eat dinner and drop off gifts.

During the dinner, my cousin "Maya" (28f) commented on the fact I didn't bring Olivia. Now, Maya tends to be judgy and nitpicky about other people, with snide comments about what they're doing.

She was relentless in doing this when I first had my daughter because I was so young, even though she had her kid in similar circumstances and only got married because of it, which lead to her divorce last year.

I just replied that she had an ear infection and was with a trusted friend. Maya didn't say anything in reply, so I figured that was that, and kept eating. My aunt was serving dessert when Maya piped up and said as a mom herself, she wouldn't dream of leaving her daughter with a babysitter on Christmas, even if she was sick.

Maya implied that I wasn't a real mom for doing this, "Real moms think about this kind of stuff," and tried to get my other two cousins to join in, but they kept quiet. I was annoyed by this, and so I said "Well, you need to actually have custody of your daughter to bring her here." Maya lost custody of her daughter during the divorce and only has visits every other weekend.

Maya freaked out, calling me a B for bringing her kid into it. I got up from the table in the middle of her yelling, gathered my things, said bye to my other family members, and left.

I got texts from my mom, dad, uncle, and aunt saying that I was petty for bringing up the fact she doesn't have custody of her daughter and I should've just let what happened slide.

My cousins think Maya deserved what I said. I felt pretty happy with my decision to call Maya out at first, but now that my other family members are getting on me about it, I'm a little torn.

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

vedmedikkkk said:

NTA your cousin should remember: don't dish it if you can't take it.

chaingun_samurai said:

Maya went directly to how a mom should be, she chose that battleground. That she got shelled while she was out there is all her fault. NTA.

The_Bad_Agent said:

NTA. Your cousin's glass house couldn't handle the stones thrown. She got exactly what she deserved.

Musikitten1991 said:

NTA. She can't say for sure that she wouldn't leave her daughter on Christmas because she doesn't even have her daughter on Christmas. She has NO room to judge you.

Charmingbeauty5562 said:

NTA. You said it in the heat of the moment when she was tearing you apart and acting like she’s mom of the year. Did your family just expect you to sit there and take it?

Notlikeyou1971 said:

NTA. She shouldn't have brought it up and judged was you did with your daughter. Who is she to judge anyone? If she can't take it don't dish it out. A real mom wouldn't have lost custody in the 1st place was the absolute right thing to say. Maybe next time she will think twice about running her mouth. Don't apologize either.

Everyone was on OP's side for this one. What's your advice for this family?

Sources: Reddit
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