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Woman reports tinder date to the FBI; 'When he started to discuss his REBELLION, I was spooked.' AITA?

Woman reports tinder date to the FBI; 'When he started to discuss his REBELLION, I was spooked.' AITA?


When this woman is horrified by her tinder date, she asks the internet:

"AITA for reporting my tinder date to the FBI?"

So, I (27F) recently went on a Tinder date with this guy (32M) who works at a nuclear power plant. Seemed interesting over text, but the actual date turned into a complete nightmare.

He shows up 45 minutes late, no apology, just starts bragging about his job as shift leader in the control room.

His attitude was really off-putting; he talks about having power over people in general, which was really disturbing. He ranted about how much he hates everyone he sees and how he wants to cause chaos and destruction.

I tried to steer the conversation to something else, but he kept fixating on his job. Then things got really worse; he starts bragging about knowing how to trigger a reactor core meltdown, laughing about it like it's some kind of joke.

I couldn't tell if he was serious, but it totally freaked me out. It seemed like he was getting a kick out of the idea of using his position to cause a catastrophe.

I ended the date early, went home, and couldn't stop thinking about what he said. Was he trying to impress me in a sick way, or could he really be dangerous?

After a lot of thought, I decided to report him to the FBI. I figured it's better to be safe than sorry, right? But now I'm second-guessing myself.

Some friends think I did the right thing, but others say I should've just ignored it since he was probably joking. Can't shake the feeling I might've overreacted and potentially ruined someone's career over a bad joke.

So, Reddit, AITA for reporting my Tinder date to the FBI for bragging about being able to cause a meltdown?

There are multiple layers of safety mechanisms at nuclear power plants. It's not as simple as some disgruntled employee triggering a catastrophic failure that causes the core to collapse.

If that were the case, anyone having a terrible day or being given a nice payout could kill people and/or contaminate large areas by pressing a button.

He had a really complicated plan to shut down the “coolant,” which included drugging his coworkers and barricading himself in the control room.

He also said he had some convoluted “loophole” to get past automated safety features. Maybe he was completely full of shit and making it up, but it sounded real to me.

Dude absolutely blows up my phone after the date, sending literally over a hundred texts and voicemails. He gets increasingly angry that I won’t respond.

At first he goes on about how I’m the perfect girl, I’m the girl of his dreams, he wants me to be his sidekick as he conquers the world, I’m the “Harley Quinn to his Joker,” yada yada yada.

Then he gets increasingly angry and deranged as I won’t respond, leaves these crazed voicemails where he’s going on and on about I don’t know what.

He starts going on these incel rants like r /niceguys or whatever. Going on and on about how women have never given him a chance and how he’s gonna teach them all a big lesson.

So I finally give in and respond. I’m pissed off and want to knock him down a notch. I tell him I contacted the FBI and send him the reddit post. He says he doesn’t give a shit because there’s no way they can get him.

I tell him he’s full of shit because, according to many experts who commented here, commercial reactors have too many automatic safeguards to prevent a lone SRO from doing anything dangerous.

So he sends me this picture of a thumb drive. He says the thumb drive has some code written in C that will disable all the secondary and tertiary safeguards and the emergency SCRAM/shutdown. He says he’s a self-taught cybersecurity genius and he knows how to disable all these systems.

He told me this plan to drug his coworkers and lock himself in the control room, and explosives rigged up to stop police from coming in. He told me this is all to punish “b&hes and w%ores” who never gave him a chance and to start the “incel rebellion.”

Then he gave me a choice to be his “queen” or to “perish like all the other vermin.”

So I had enough at this point. Sent these messages to the FBI, also sent everything to the NRC and the homeland security tipline as people suggested. Still haven’t heard anything.

Let's see what readers had to say:

crank writes:

NTA - and don't feel guilty. I've worked with the nuclear power industry a lot; as serious as they are about such things, they are just as professional and fair.

I know their process for such situations; they will simply have this guy see a shrink for a few sessions, and will rely on the shrink's evaluation and recommendations regarding his future at the power plant.

Bear in mind that some insecure guys will say all sorts of things they don't really mean, or exaggerate their authority at work, if they like a woman a lot.

Also, the shift leader in the control room cannot do anything that could lead to even a serious malfunction, much less a meltdown, without numerous loud alarms going off on numerous devices, which his bosses and his bosses bosses carry with them at all times. If he implied that he could, he was fabricating when he spoke.

niinjstatkit writes:

NTA, if it was a joke he would’ve said anything at all to indicate it. Since he only talked about that, I think it’s a reasonable assumption he was serious. Good on you for being brave and telling the authorities.

You may have saved many lives, who knows. If he is really joking, then when the FBI get there, they’ll do their interviews, figure out he’s no danger and let him go. If he’s known for that sort of humor he may not even get fired.

afwaltz writes:

NTA. I also work at a nuclear plant. It is always better to report stuff like this even if you think they might be joking. I know a few ops people and they wouldn't make jokes like that in any context.

I kind of doubt this guy actually has the position he claims to have. One, they weed them out during the background check/psych eval.

Two, you have to work there for quite a while before you get up to that position, and if he's willing to talk like that to a complete stranger, he likely would've slipped up and said something disqualifying to one of his coworkers or supervisors.

Three, it is extremely difficult to intentionally cause a meltdown or any kind of real chaos in a nuclear power plant. There are so many backups and backups of backups for all of the safety-related systems, I'm not sure it would even be possible to disable all of them from the control room.

Also, it would be impossible to do more than flip a few switches before someone would notice that you are doing something you're not supposed to be doing. An actual ops guy would know all that.

zct8 writes:

I’m about to board a plane in a couple of hours. If I go through a TSA checkpoint and start making ‘jokes’ about being a terrorist, I’ll be arrested, and investigated, and there will be all manner of serious consequences.

AND THERE SHOULD BE! As a society we can’t take the chance that I might have been serious. So obviously, I’m not going to do that, and I’m not a terrorist.

It is deeply disturbing that a guy works around something as dangerous as a nuclear power plant, and is clearly so deeply disturbed. What he said isn’t a joke, it isn’t funny, no normal person is going to be impressed by it. And like making a terrorist joke at an airport, it is grossly inappropriate.

I think you absolutely did the right thing. Because even if he is an amazing worker, the fact that his judgement is SO far off that he is willing to talk in these terms to a stranger, sows that his judgement, ethics, and moral compass are SO messed up there is no way he should have security clearance to even get into the facility.

Much less near anything that he could use to cause harm. NTA, and better safe than sorry.

thomson7 writes:

Definitely NTA. I was a manager in the Nuclear Business Unit of a major utility with 5 plants. While a psych test is required for employment, it is once and really not hard to pass.

While he may have been trying to impress with his power but too much about his character was a concern. As a manager I was contacted every 30 days for every employee that had unescorted access to the plant and asked if there was any concerns or changes in their behavior.

It sounds to me like this person’s manager was not taking their responsibility seriously, likely due to potential pressure from their leadership to not rock the boat because of the shortage in nuclear operators.

Ultimately you did everyone a great service by ensuring someone is taking a look at this guy to avoid a nuclear event.

gabev6 writes:

NTA, I worked in a university as a cook and our baker often got drunk at work. One day him and I were staying late to do some baking and while it was just him and I he started talking about how he hates everyone and everything and if one more person said anything to him he'd shoot "them all down".

I didn't know if he meant us employees or our students, but I went straight to our management and the college dean (we work for a company that stationed us at the school, we don't work for the school).

Management fired him and the school called the police, they searched his car and house and found weapons and liquor in his car, and also guns in his house.

I don't know if he was serious or drunk-rambling but when your gut is telling you something is wrong, do what your gut says. Maybe if your date wasn't serious, and he spends time in jail for it or loses his job, it'll click in his mind that his behavior is not okay.

Don't be guilty, either you gave a huge middle finger to a complete asshole or you saved MANY people's lives.

oo9 writes:

NTA. For reference, I have an extremely high security clearance and work with very private information and classified information that would cause serious or grave damage to the United States if released.

We never even joke about doing the things this person was talking very seriously about. I carry a gun for my job but I don't joke about how many people I could shoot with it or how much control I have over the individuals in my custody.

That would be extremely inappropriate and a clear warning sign to anyone in my chain of command that I am unhinged or extremely mentally ill.

The people that I have met that don't take their clearance or job obligation seriously in my line of work don't make it. They don't make it because everybody takes their clearance seriously and part of maintaining a clearance is having the integrity to say something if you see something.

National security is a serious business and what your date was talking about shows very clearly to me that he is a threat to national security.

You did the right thing and I'm proud of you, I know it wasn't easy and I've been in the same position you are in, except it was with colleagues of mine that I had to look in the eyes during administrative inquiries and in some cases, criminal trials. Well done. You deserve thanks.

What do YOU make of OP's story? Any advice for her?

Sources: Reddit
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