Woman reports Tinder date to the FBI, 'I might've overreacted.' AITA? UPDATED.
"AITA for reporting my tinder date to the FBI?"
So, I (27F) recently went on a Tinder date with this guy (32M) who works at a nuclear power plant. Seemed interesting over text, but the actual date turned into a complete nightmare.
He shows up 45 minutes late, no apology, just starts bragging about his job as shift leader in the control room. His attitude was really off-putting; he talks about having power over "vermin," and by that, he means people in general, which was really disturbing.
He ranted about how much he hates everyone he sees and how he wants to cause chaos and destruction. I tried to steer the conversation to something else, but he kept fixating on his job.
Then things got really worse; he starts bragging about knowing how to trigger a reactor core meltdown, laughing about it like it's some kind of joke. I couldn't tell if he was serious, but it totally freaked me out. It seemed like he was getting a kick out of the idea of using his position to cause a catastrophe.
I ended the date early, went home, and couldn't stop thinking about what he said. Was he trying to impress me in a sick way, or could he really be dangerous? After a lot of thought, I decided to report him to the FBI.
I figured it's better to be safe than sorry, right? But now I'm second-guessing myself. Some friends think I did the right thing, but others say I should've just ignored it since he was probably joking.
Can't shake the feeling I might've overreacted and potentially ruined someone's career over a bad joke. So, Reddit, AITA for reporting my Tinder date to the FBI for bragging about being able to cause a meltdown?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
cats-are-people-too said:
NTA. Makes me think of all the situations where something terrible happens and folks ask how everyone ignored all the red flags. Those were definitely red flags, and you simply chose not to ignore.
Now it's in the hands of professionals who are in a much better position than you are to determine whether he's a potential domestic terrorist or just a blustering jacka$s. If he knows enough to track you down, please take steps to stay safe.
Curious-One4595 said:
NTA. You were thoughtful and concerned. Why risk a nuclear meltdown? He seems socially and morally stunted.
Visual-Measurement24 said:
NTA. Have a nuclear physicist in the family. Normal people who know what those things mean don’t joke about them. He’s either sick in the head, evil, or both. Thanks for reporting him.
NickDanger3di said:
NTA - and don't feel guilty. I've worked with the nuclear power industry a lot; as serious as they are about such things, they are just as professional and fair. I know their process for such situations; they will simply have this guy see a shrink for a few sessions, and will rely on the shrink's evaluation and recommendations regarding his future at the power plant.
Bear in mind that some insecure guys will say all sorts of things they don't really mean, or exaggerate their authority at work, if they like a woman a lot.
Also, the shift leader in the control room cannot do anything that could lead to even a serious malfunction, much less a meltdown, without numerous loud alarms going off on numerous devices, which his bosses and his bosses bosses carry with them at all times. If he implied that he could, he was fabricating when he spoke.
ninjastarkid said:
NTA, if it was a joke he would’ve said anything at all to indicate it. Since he only talked about that, I think it’s a reasonable assumption he was serious. Good on you for being brave and telling the authorities.
You may have saved many lives, who knows. If he is really joking, then when the FBI get there, they’ll do their interviews, figure out he’s no danger and let him go. If he’s known for that sort of humor he may not even get fired.
ComfortableZebra2412 said:
NTA he sounds mentally unstable and if he does work in any position of power someone needs to know, trust your gut. The worse that happens is that he is cleared.
UPDATE:
So a lot’s happened in the past 24 hours. Dude absolutely blows up my phone after the date, sending literally over a hundred texts and voicemails. He gets increasingly angry that I won’t respond.
At first he goes on about how I’m the perfect girl, I’m the girl of his dreams, he wants me to be his sidekick as he conquers the world, I’m the “Harley Quinn to his Joker,” yada yada yada.
Then he gets increasingly angry and deranged as I won’t respond, leaves these crazed voicemails where he’s going on and on about I don’t know what. He starts going on these incel rants like r /niceguys or whatever. Going on and on about how women have never given him a chance and how he’s gonna teach them all a big lesson.
So I finally give in and respond. I’m pissed off and want to knock him down a notch. I tell him I contacted the FBI and send him the reddit post. He says he doesn’t give a sh#t because there’s no way they can get him.
I tell him he’s full of sh$t because, according to many experts who commented here, commercial reactors have too many automatic safeguards to prevent a lone SRO from doing anything dangerous.
So he sends me this picture of a thumb drive. He says the thumb drive has some code written in C that will disable all the secondary and tertiary safeguards and the emergency SCRAM/shutdown. He says he’s a self-taught cybersecurity genius and he knows how to disable all these systems.
He told me this plan to drug his coworkers and lock himself in the control room, and explosives rigged up to stop police from coming in. He told me this is all to punish women who never gave him a chance and to start the “incel rebellion.” Then he gave me a choice to be his “queen” or to “perish like all the other vermin.”
So I had enough at this point. Sent these messages to the FBI, also sent everything to the NRC and the homeland security tipline as people suggested. Still haven’t heard anything.