Time_Difficulty_3466 writes:
My sister and I are not close to each other. Our relationship has always been full of conflict since we were kids. She's now 26 and I'm 24. The invite for her wedding came a few days ago, and it came with a note that said if I attended, I would not be seated with family during the ceremony or reception, but at one of the tables with all the 'extra guests.'
I won't be in any of the wedding photos either. So, reading all this, I was like, cool, I'll RSVP no and have a nice day doing my own thing. I have no interest in attending a wedding where I will be stuck around people I do not know and celebrating someone I do not like, which is precisely what I did. I sent my RSVP back via a link listed on the invite.
Even seeing her letter after they confronted me, the rest of my family believed I was wrong for RSVPing no. Mom said I could have gone to her and Dad, and they would have straightened out the details in the note.
My grandparents said I could still enjoy spending time with them and the rest of the family, and my aunt said I would raise a lot of eyebrows by not attending my sister's wedding and would make them all look bad.
I told them she didn't want me there. I don't want to be there. So why would I go? They all responded that, as adults, we do things we don't always want to do. This is fair, but this is an optional thing, in my opinion.
They believe I'm wrong and have argued against my decision. They say I should listen to them and think about my actions. AITA?
Here are some of the highest-rated comments from the post.
Fairmount1955 says:
NTA (Not the A%. Your family fails to process that the invite was passive-aggressive: 'I will invite you, but make sure you don't feel welcome.' And I'm sorry they seem to think that was OK for her to do.
R3dmund says:
They all responded that, as adults, we do things we don't always want to do. Your family insisting you be made uncomfortable and unwelcome at a *family *event shouldn't be one of them. Perhaps your sister wouldn't have thought this was OK if they had been better parents and adults. NTA.
GreekAmericanDom says:
I see you are related to a bunch of boat stabilizers. Mom & Dad: You are an adult. You don't need to run to them to solve your problems anymore. Aunt: Not your fault if eyebrows are raised. If the sister is embarrassed, she should not have asked that way. Grandparents: Schedule a day with them
There is truth to this, but this is not a good example. You work to support yourself. You give of yourself when you have kids.
Another part of adulthood is choosing your values and living by them. It is your job to be reasonable. It is not your job to make everyone happy. Your response is a reasonable one.
OP, I don't know if you knew this, but your family clearly has a favorite.