Every year my father and stepmother, who I am not close to, send out a Christmas card - a very important tradition for the good, middle class Jesus-loving Texan who needs to show off their travels & their kids accomplishments.
This year they included a photo of my ultrasound on it (which I had shared privately with my father only) & my due date, along with the same of my step-siblings who are also expecting. My sister saw the card and called to ask if I knew about it - I did not. They never asked for my permission or informed me that they were printing my ultrasound on the card.
I called and told my dad that he should have asked for permission before a photo of my body & my unborn child was sent around to hundreds of people that are strangers to me. He responded that it's his grandchild too, it's not a big deal, and my stepmom is very excited about the baby so I should keep my mouth shut so as not to rain on their parade.
Now he's not talking to me. I understand that it's a very normal thing in the South to share photos of your ultrasound on social media or wherever, so now I'm worried I overreacted and caused drama over nothing. AITA for scolding my dad?
SunshineShoulders87 said:
NTA and it’s time to restrict information to only what you’d be fine sharing with the rest of civilization. Additionally, keep that “it’s my grandchild, too, and (your concerns) aren’t a big deal” attitude in mind when considering leaving your newborn alone with grandparents. I promise it only gets worse from here.
Puzzleheaded-Age-240 said:
NTA - and you need to set firm boundaries with them now because if they don't respect your rights over your own body and personal information, they sure as hell aren't going to accept any rules you lay down as a parent or that your child has any autonomy over their own body.
I learned the hard way that toxic people are not entitled to a relationship with their other family members - your responsibility now is to your own family and especially your children. Don't bend on that count. Congratulations on the new family member and good luck!
n2oc10h12c8h10n402 said:
NTA. I'm petty af. They would not see my baby, especially after telling me to "shut up."
IAmTAAlways said:
NTA, and nothing about this has anything to do with being Southern or Texan. They're just jerks. If it were me, they would get blocked on all social media and would never be given pictures or videos of my child ever again. Anyone supplying them with pictures/videos would also be blocked and banned.
SparklesIB said:
NTA. I would do as you were told: Keep your mouth shut. They apparently do not need to know anything further from you. Ever. They can hear through the grapevine when your child has been born, along with any other momentous events. When they complain, you tell them you're doing as you were told. And will continue to do so until they apologize for everything and improve their attitudes.
EmploymentOk1421 said:
NTA, but the bigger issue is how they’re gonna treat you next fall if don’t let them send out a card with your newborn next to all the step grandchildren in your father’s family.