Woman shamed by family for the outfit she wears to her aunt's funeral. 'Was it really that bad?' AITA? UPDATED

When this woman feels like she may have been disrespectful, she asks the internet:

"AITA for wearing a specific outfit to my aunt's funeral?"

So, here’s the deal: my aunt (let’s call her Linda) passed away unexpectedly last week. She was a vibrant, free-spirited woman who always encouraged us to celebrate life, so when the family started planning the funeral, I thought it might reflect her personality a bit more.

I decided to wear a bright yellow dress that I love. It’s definitely not the typical funeral attire, but Linda always said she wanted us to wear colors that made us happy. I thought it would honor her spirit rather than the somberness of the occasion.

When I arrived, I noticed a lot of family members giving me side-eyes and whispering. At first, I brushed it off, but then my cousin (who I thought was closer to me) pulled me aside and said, “What were you thinking? This is a funeral, not a party.” I tried to explain my reasoning, but she was clearly upset and said I was being disrespectful.

Throughout the service, I felt uncomfortable and out of place. Some relatives avoided me, while others shot me disapproving looks. By the end, I felt guilty for how my outfit was perceived, even though I genuinely believed it was in line with what my aunt would have wanted.

But here’s the kicker: some family members came up to me afterward and said they loved my dress and thought it was a beautiful tribute! Others, however, called me selfish and said I was “making it all about me.”

Now, I’m left wondering if I crossed a line. AITA for wearing a bright outfit to my aunt’s funeral when I thought it would honor her memory?

Before we give you OP's updates, let's take a look at some top responses:

feigha writes:

YTA. You should’ve respected the occasion. Bright colors at a funeral? That’s just wrong!”

farg12 writes:

YTA!!! Y our aunt would roll in her grave if she knew you wore that. It’s about the family, not you.

faop writes:

NTA. I think it’s refreshing to see someone break the mold. Why do we have to be sad and somber?

greifhalo writes:

This isn’t a festival; it’s a funeral. If you wanted to honor her, you could’ve done it in a more appropriate way. Honestly, I think it’s a bit selfish. You might’ve been trying to honor her, but it came off as attention-seeking.

agaooo writes:

NTA!! Your aunt wouldve been happy. GOOD FOR YOU. Don't listen to your family they're jealous.

And now, OP's update:

After the funeral, I was pretty shaken up by the mixed reactions. A few days later, I spoke to some family members who said they appreciated my outfit and thought it brought a little light to a dark day. But others were still upset, and I felt the divide.

I ended up having a heart-to-heart with my cousin who called me out. She admitted that she was just really emotional and took it out on me. We talked about how important Linda was to both of us and how she would have wanted us to celebrate her life.

While the situation was tense, I’m relieved to say that some family members are starting to come around. We even plan to get together for a memorial gathering in a few weeks, and I think it’ll be a good chance to remember Linda the way she would have wanted.

Thanks for all the support and advice!