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Woman shares bizarre child support saga; 'I received request for child support from a woman I've NEVER met.' UPDATED 3X

Woman shares bizarre child support saga; 'I received request for child support from a woman I've NEVER met.' UPDATED 3X


When this woman is creeped out by a child support request, she asks the internet:

"I received a request for child support from a woman I've never met. I am a cis woman and have never had children. Can you give me advice?"

A few days ago, I received a notice from an attorney that I am being sued for child support from a woman I have never met or heard of.

Context: I am a biological cis woman. I am straight. I have 0 children. I have never done surrogacy, egg donation or even given birth or come close to it.

I contacted the attorney listed on the document (a fairly well know attorney around where I live) to make sure it was legit and yep - its legit. He stated that his client came to him to sue me for backdated and future child support for her 15 year old and stated I am the biological father.

The attorney had my name, address and info like my birthday, where I went to high school etc. Yet somehow didn't know that I am a woman?

The attorney also stated that the woman is in her 40s, repeated her name to me and verified with me if I know her.

I stated I've never met or heard of her, I am a biological woman who has never had a child and even brought up that if I was a man and was the bio dad, how would she not be in trouble for statutory r&$e as I would have been barely 15 when the child was conceived and she would have been mid/late 20s.

The attorney stated that as an attorney he needs to follow through and I need to see him and sign the documents and do a DNA test to confirm any relation to the child. I informed the attorney that it's literally impossible for me to be the father but he won't take no for an answer and told me to bring my lawyer to his office tomorrow.

Do I actually need to get an attorney? Can I just show up and be like 'look at me, very much a woman and have never given birth leave me alone'. I need some proper guidance on where to go from here. Does anyone have advice?

Let's see what readers had to say:

faferw writes:

I wonder how often stuff like this happens; my mom has a similar story. In the mid 80s, after my parents married but before I was born, they’re joint tax return was garnished the letter said for back child support.

My mom initially asked my dad if he had anything to tell her but they looked at the notification letter they received and it said her maiden name. Her first name is Sandra and her maiden name is very common like Smith; the letter said Sandy Smith, which was their first clue because all her official documents said Sandra.

She called the IRS and after a bunch of run around she found: there is a man in a different(and not really close) state named Sandy Smith who did owe child support but that Sandy was a (obv) man and had a different SSN so it’s still unclear to all of us how they made the connection, our best guess is it was the 80s and all on paper so clerical error?

freeeezu writes:

Don’t meet, let them give you a court date. I doubt you need an attorney, if they’re claiming you as the biological father then honestly all it will take is for you to show up to prove you’re not.

Especially since they’re claiming you’re the biological father and not trying to say you’re the mother. I’d maybe get an attorney just in case they try some shady work and changing it to you being the biological mother and even forging documents but that’s doubtful since it’s claiming you as the father.

Update 1:

Sued for CS update. First to answer some questions I received via PM and saw posted:

No, I do not have a masculine/gender neutral name. I actually have a very long feminine first and middle name. Both are also spelled very uniquely.

Yes, I have brothers. No, none of them have passed so I wasn't being sued in their place. They are all alive and well and even easier to get in touch with than I am, as I'm not even on social media and they are all very active on sm and have public pages, linkedin profiles etc. Much easier to find randomly through a Google search.

Yes, I also have a father. No, he wasn't the one I was being sued for CS on behalf of. In the beginning, this woman stated that I didn't even have any family, BTW. She told the attorneys "I can give him the family he's never has since he's been alone his whole life" (referring to me as he).

Even if one of my brothers was the father and I did a DNA test (I didn't), there would still be no way to prove I'm biologically related to this child, as I'm adopted. The only relation to my siblings is literally because my parents signed a piece of paper and drove to pick me up from state custody.

Also, if she were trying to set up the DNA test to prove a familial link to the kid without the father present, if she knew anything worth her time about my family, she would have gone to my sister who IS biologically related to the rest of my adoptive family (adopted from another family member).

No, I thankfully have not been a victim of identity theft. This was not someone posing as me.

And thankfully there was no shady s in trying to change the paperwork from bio dad to mom. Even in the documents this woman's lawyer presented to my attorney (and the documents I was sent) it CLEARLY stated that I was supposedly the biological father.

Now, as to what happened: I went to the attorneys office with my attorney as he request during our call yesterday. And guess what?

The suit was dismissed. It happened very quickly. Thank god. I thought we would meet with a judge, because that's how I assumed it worked, but we went to the lawyers office and met with him and the woman who filed the suit.

I got an attorney as I reached out to a friend who lives in my state as a lot of his family are attorneys (one of the families where it's in their blood basically).

Turns out, his Aunt handles family cases. He got me in touch with her and we spoke. After i told her the situation, she laughed and said she'd do it pro Bono just for the entertainment. Apparently she knows the other attorney and says he's a dick, so I guess that's a benefit for me since she was more than happy to represent me.

We met with the attorney, showed my BC, ID, passport, adoption papers and my inital BC prior to adoption (for good measure). The attorney was frustrated with his client (obvs), but very kind with myself and my attorney about it. He apologized for the inconvenience.

The whole thing was dismissed and, while my attorney intially suggested an order of protection (because clearly this woman was unwell as while we were in the office she was saying that I was a man who had a se% change to dodge support, which is why she referred to me as "he", and said I make more than enough money and my money belongs to her and "our child" etc etc.)

We ultimately decided against the RO as after all of the insanity, she was honest about how this came about.

She, myself and my male cousin used to work in the same place. Over a decade ago. I worked a different shift in a different part of the building, she was a secretary and he was a typical office worker.

He is the father of her child, as apparently they had known each other for YEARS prior, but he is also now a convicted violent felon, currently incarcerated, and not on the bc. They are the same age and they went to school together in the next town over.

Since she had access to my information (as the office still has prior employee records) and knows I'm his cousin, as he told her I was his cousin and I worked there, even though I never crossed paths with either of them there (didn't even know she worked there.

Knew he did but never saw him due to different shifts/areas). She said she confirmed the connection via fb because he has our family listed and with that, she was able to link my cousin to his father, which lead to my mtoher as he has her listed as a sister (shes his SIL).

My mother was always my emergency contact so she has access to the information.

She said since she was able to get my contact information in the easiest way, she figured she could throw a suit at me, get a DNA test, then lead back to him and she would try to go over him and sue my uncle for support, as he retired from a good job and has disposal income and my cousin is incarcerated.

No, I don't understand her thought process because honestly, I have no idea how any of this works or if that is even a thing she could possibly do.

Also, she said she was recently fired, which is why this came up now, and since she knew my cousin was incarcerated and she needed money, she found me via our last name and made a copy of my resume and important info in my file.

After all of the theatrics and chaos etc. she said she finally decided to give up the fight because she realized she couldn't win.

Especially once I presented my paperwork and mentioned that some of it was my inital adoption/birth records before adoption. As that's when she realized there was 0 chance that the DNA test would get her where she wanted with everything.

Sorry if this isn't the super exciting update you were looking for. But I'm just glad it's over. At the end of it, I just hope she gets help but I'm staying far away and warning my family about her. I hope you all have a great day!

Let's see what readers had to say:

megamzx6 writes:

I was hoping for something more along the lines of you asking the lawyer whether or not he knows how babies are made and if his belief is that, 15 years ago, his client, mid 20s, had sex with a 15 year old girl and became pregnant as a result.

Then, you eventually tell him that you aren't coming in, and if he wants to talk to you, he can have you served. Eventually, he files a suit, and you appear in court, without a lawyer, and are just like, look at me.

The judge gets so annoyed by this basic failure to do due diligence that this leads to the lawyer getting disbarred, and perhaps criminal charges are filed against the woman for attempted fraud or something.

Still, everything you did is much more mature and reasonable. I do wonder, though, whether what this woman was attempting to do was illegal, and I'd be very curious what her lawyer was actually thinking when you...

informed him that you were a woman (presumably he had to have some thoughts about contacting someone with an obviously feminine name).

Did the woman tell her lawyer that you are MtF trans prior to you coming in? What a bizarre situation.

OP replied:

So there was more conversation than what I posted (as I was mostly just trying to give an informative enough update) She never mentioned anything to him about me being Trans. She insisted I was a man and fathered her child.

My attorney asked him what his inital thought was when he learned my name and spoke with me over the phone and he said he assumed I was a man mispronoucing my name and disguising my voice as his client insisted I was a man.

However, later in the conversation, it came out that he attorney was aware of how she received my information, and she had even provided him with a copy of my employee file from the former job (which has all my information PLUS a copy of my ID and passort).

So, in reality, I couldn't even begin to tell you what either of their state of mind was.

Another Update from OP:

Without sounding mean, she seems very unwell. She genuinely thought this was the BEST method to handle the situation.

Unfortunately, in the end, she's screwed herself over. The suit has been dismissed. And now she'll most likely be reported to the former employer for stealing private records.

Plus, my uncle has no responsibility for this kid. He doesn't even have a relationship with his son nowadays since he's incarcerated for life.

Her best option at this point is to pursue paternity with a violent, convicted felon that isn't even allowed around children. I feel for her, but I hope she gets any help she needs and things get better for her and the kid.

And now, OP's final update:

From what I found out today, she has plenty of family and was with someone up until right before she lost her job recently. The other dude has helped raise the kid and still plans to be in the kids' lives, but as he has no legal responsibilities, she got desperate and decided this was the best method.

It's just kind of a mess of a situation, and it comes down to her needing help that even finances can't provide. There's also the issue of legal repercussions since she openly admitted to stealing private documents and providing her attorney with them with false pretenses.

Sources: Reddit
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