Woman shares divorce saga; 'My husband doesn't know I'm about to leave him.' UPDATED

"My husband doesn’t know I’m about to divorce him."

This has been my plan for 6 years. This is by far the craziest thing I’ve done and I can’t believe I suffered all these years staying with this man just so I can survive financially.

The start of our marriage was wonderful. We had two babies. After the second pregnancy he cheated on me with a very close family member. He gave me a lazy apology and on top of that he complained about my body. He also told me I was built like a refrigerator mind you I was four months postpartum at the time.

I secretly saw a family lawyer, to sum it up for you I would be screwed leaving him. We only had $25k and that being split up is basically nothing for me. No martial properties. No car. I didn’t have a job. Literally nothing. I was a SAHM.

I applied for hundreds of jobs during the time and couldn’t find employment anywhere so leaving was a bad decision for me financially speaking especially with 2 small babies. Also, alimony and child support wasn’t going to be enough for me to live off of or survive with two babies with.

So I let him believe that I forgave him and I continued being his wife. The very first time he cheated on me it was with my cousin. Then he cheated again, he had a one night stand with a random girl he met on a night out. I got so mad, I cheated back on him out of anger, ofc he never found out I cheated… at least I’m smart about it unlike him.

During the time in our marriage, I worked on getting my independence back. My husband paid for my trade school, it was a very expensive program but he paid for everything.

We moved and we bought a house with his income. He grew his money too during all this time. So he made far more money now than he did when I originally wanted to leave him. I started working recently. I have a career now! I’m so happy about that.

I haven’t filed for divorce yet. He has no idea of my plans. I’m excited. I finally get to leave him after 6 almost 7 years. Now I can walk away with at least $200k and we have martial assets now like the house and the car he also paid off for me. Now I have my education and my own career.

I been working on my weight loss. I lost 66 pounds he paid for my tirezepatide. I had a breast reduction and a breast lift. I look amazing, I don’t doubt I’ll probably get remarried eventually. Everything in my life is FINALLY set and going the right way.

ETA: laughing at the people mad at me for cheating back on him. What did you expect to happen? I stay loyal to my husband while he fs other girls? lol you guys think I’m going to just go without se% for almost a decade. Hilarious.

Before we give you OP's update, let's read some top comments and responses from OP:

lasdes writes:

Can I ask, how was your marriage these past years though ? Like did he even attempt to change or anything?

OP replies:

No he didn’t. He said he was going to change and never did. He just started hiding everything from me and he was lying about his whereabouts. He was liking random girls IG pics and DMing them flirty messages.

He was snapchating random women. I only knew that he cheated on me twice because I checked his phone, he definitely cheated on me way more that I know of. I just stopped going through his phone like what’s the point like I already he was cheating.

He also treated me really poorly, made me feel bad about my weight. Always called me fat and ugly. He told me that I needed to get a bbl to get rid of my mom pooch and fill my flat droopy ass. I can really go on and on but I’ll stop there.

grumpynetgee writes:

You sound exactly my wife, before her and I met; they didn’t have the cheating you experienced, but she experienced incredible loneliness.

About 10 years into their 20 year marriage, she began to squirrel away money from her allowance and plan for her future once their kids were grown and out on their own.

Their major problem was his complete inability find time for any of them, 0 weekends, 0 vacations, trips, family time; it had got to the point where she dreaded hearing the garage door, well after the kids were asleep.

She found an incredible group of gals in our chat room on IRC, that helped her make the incredibly difficult decision to leave.

Please do what’s best for you and do it safely, best of luck to you!

vasgetfired writes:

I'm in a not so fun boat, too. My hubby has cheated repeatedly. I have stayed. At first, it was because I loved him and thought it was my fault. I wasn't enough. Then I got sick. He kept cheating. Then I couldn't leave.

I had screwed myself by not leaving early enough. I should have left in my 20s. Now I'm completely disabled and it's been 2 years since the last woman. He swears that he finally realized how much damage he was doing to me and our kids and that he's devoted to our life now.

Usually, at this 2 year mark, he's off looking for fun again. So I guess I'll see. At this point, I just keep putting money in savings. Both the kids are adults now. So, at least there is that.

My aunt is buying a house near me. She said I could live in it if he cheated again. Which will be great. This is his last chance he knows it. He knows I've saved and planned options. My plan isn't as good as ops, but I'm doing my best.

Update:

A lot of people here wanted an update the last time I posted. I wanted to update you guys and tell you that I did serve him. You know what’s the funny part? He was honestly shocked that this happened as if he didn’t do anything wrong.

He told his parents on me because I’m really close with his parents and he thought they could persuade me to change my mind. His parents are sweet however they turned on me quickly and told me off for leaving their son. They let me know what he did was unacceptable but what I’m doing is even worse by leaving him and a family behind.

My husband cursed me off after the divorce news. He also called me a gold digger and went on a rant about how women only want money and bla bla bla. He also called me a slut because I went out with my girls and boys who are my close friends and we went to the bar and celebrated my divorce (before I told my husband about this).

Anyways, we are in the middle of a divorce now. It’s a process. We both still live in the marital home until further noticed as noticed by the attorney. We will both have the 50-50 custody; most likely a rotating schedule.

One of my kids is taking the divorce really hard even though he knows what happened and he’s begging us to stay together and how he doesn’t want us to get a divorce.

Honestly I did feel pretty bad after my son begged me not to divide up our family and to stay with their dad. But I know at the end of the day I need to be selfish and put my needs above everyone else’s for once in my life.

My son does hate me though, he won’t talk to me and spends most of his time with daddy. My other child is younger and doesn’t fully understand what’s going on and is just kind of brushing it off.

My son just keeps saying he doesn’t want divorced parents and he wants us to stay together and he doesn’t want step parents.

My son is really taking it hard. He is also saying that he wants to spend most of his time with his father if I go through with the divorce and I just told him that’s not how it’s going to work and we will both spend time with him and he keeps saying it’s not fair and he doesn’t want to stay with me.

Readers continued to weigh in:

lycosa09 writes:

Does your child know why you're divorcing his dad? If he's old enough, I would explain it to him in an age appropriate way.

OP replies:

Yes he does. He’s just not accepting it. He doesn’t want us to split up even though his father cheated on me and treated me like dirt throughout our marriage