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Woman shares saga of BF's gaming addiction; 'I'm 32 weeks pregnant and freaking out.' UPDATED 3X

Woman shares saga of BF's gaming addiction; 'I'm 32 weeks pregnant and freaking out.' UPDATED 3X

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"Woman has troubles because BF cannot seem to stop gaming. Tale as old as time."

My boyfriend (28M) and I (21F) have been together for about 6 months now, but we were fwb for about a year and a half before that. We’ve also been living together for about 5 months now and this is my first time ever living with a partner. I’m currently 32 weeks pregnant with our son.

He’s put off quite a lot because he would rather be gaming. I’ve done all the baby stuff, went to all the doctors appointments myself, I do most of the cooking and cleaning. It makes me feel like we’re just roommates.

He gets up maybe an hour before work, goes to work, comes home, and will game until he has like 4/5 hours of sleep left before he has to wake up. That’s all he does game, sleep, work, smoke w, maybe se%, eat.

I understand how fun and how much of an escape video games can be, I love to game myself. I just haven’t had time for it because I’ve been trying to get things ready for the baby and took up more shifts at work to save up. It makes me resentful and jealous that he can do his fun things but I can’t. Someone has to do the work and it’s all fallen on me.

Recently, Ive getting after my boyfriend about him helping me with the nursery. There still so much left to do and he promised me weeks ago that this is something we would work on together.

I’m the only one that’s done anything for it so far and honestly I’m the only one that’s done anything baby related throughout my pregnancy. When he asked me to move in, he made a lot of promises that he hasn’t kept up with.

I’ve told him how I feel about it before and we recently had a big fight. I asked him a question and he told me to f off because he was playing his game and he ignored me every time I tried to talk to him.

So I took my phone out, and shut off the internet using the app. He absolutely lost it, like it scared me, and I asked him to leave. He called me all kinds of names and said I was ungrateful and that he should break up with me over something like that.

I really didn’t think he would blow up like that, I was just frustrated and tried to get his attention. He left that night and stayed at his brothers place. He said he won’t go home yet and I apologized.

I feel like I crossed a line I didn’t know would just make everything fall apart. I feel like he really does hate me now. I don’t know how else to apologize. I just wish things were different.

Edit: I’d like to add that when I found out that I was pregnant and told him, he had to convince me to go through with the pregnancy and made many false promises to be better and to be a good parent.

Before we give you OP's updates, let's take a look at some top comments:

cgrum writes:

I know it's a harsh suggestion but I would seriously consider adoption. There's many very loving potential parents who can't have children of their own and a child is a total life changer. Also they tend to want babies so if you leave it for a few years your little one could have less chances.

Unless you are 100% up for being a single mum from birth I'd give it a good think. As others said, it sounds like he isn't up for it. If you're in a good career or atleast reached the right level you wanna be then all good but if you feel like you are in a 'lost' zone with no major prospects at the moment then that will become even more of a hole with kids involved.

It's just so much money to spend on childcare whilst trying to retrain for a better career and expect every penny you make to go on your kid for the foreseeable future, i.e. no/not many holidays or adventures, no spare cash for selfish things (necessary for your own happiness!) Please consider your support network and finance before jumping into this!

vision writes:

It will absolutely be the hardest decision you will ever make in your life, you might even regret it in 40yrs when youve finally got a house and your confortable financially and dream of what if.

But chances are you will never be at that point if you go the single mother route, it will be constant stress and hard work keeping a roof over your head.

Trying to find a new father for your child is nearly impossible not because noone wants you with a child plenty of guys are happy to take on a child that isnt theirs BUT you simply wont have the time to see someone new and noone wants to let a stranger near their child so having them come to you isnt an option.

You can get pretty close to your old life back but you will have that grief of being with out the child you carried to work through and if you take that route 1000000% percent get a therapist and counselling for it straight away

msrighayu writes:

Good thing you’re not married. If you leave him he still has to pay child support. Worst case scenario. I cant see anyone getting this upset over cutting the WiFi that doesn’t have the mentality of a 4 year old.

You’re very mature for your age. If you don’t feel love from your partner that’s not going to have a very good effect on your child. If the issue isn’t resolved within a few months of work (and or therapy) and you still feel unloved then I think it would be best to leave him. (But get that child support).

He might have a severe gaming addiction. It’s not uncommon. Try and talk to him about this and get therapy.

Update:

Slight update: I don’t want to post a full update but he’s decided to come back home today so hopefully we can talk and maybe work things through, but I doubt it’ll be any more productive then our previous conversations. I am going to give him an ultimatum though as much as I hate to but something has to change.

So he came home yesterday and I told him wanted to sit down and talk things through. I told him that the way that he acted wasn’t acceptable and that I won’t be tolerating anything like that again. I also said that I would need to see him help me out around the house more.

He apologized for how he acted, he even brought me flowers. We both had off from work so he took me out to eat. I’ve been craving Mexican so he took me to my favorite Mexican restaurant. Everything seemed like it was resolved.

When we got home from work, I took a shower and he said that we could work on the nursery together once I was done. By time I got out and dried my hair, he was playing on the computer again.

I tried not to get frustrated and waited until he was done with a game to try to get his attention. He just gestured at me to leave him alone and said in a few minutes he would log off.

I went and did some laundry while I was waiting for about a half hour and came back. This time when I tried to get his attention, he was much more annoyed and said that he would get to it tomorrow but he would come to bed with me tonight.

So I just gave up and went to bed early since I was tired anyways. I woke up hours later, around when he goes to bed. I could still hear him yelling on his game.

I got up and asked him to come to bed. I guess his friends that he was playing with heard me and he just started mocking me and making jokes.

I could tell that he was pretty drunk. I reminded him about our talk and how I can’t put up with this forever. He jokingly asked if I would turn off the internet again and I said that I would if that’s what it takes for him to actually do something.

You could see the switch flip in him and he picked up a spare keyboard he just had on his desk and chucked it at me. Started yelling at me and absolutely lost it like he did the other day. Well I packed my things and just left to go to my parents.

At first he made fun of me, called me names, then he started crying and apologizing. I didn’t say a thing, grabbed what I could, and took my car to my parents. I called them on the way so they welcomed me in and I went straight to my old room.

I didn’t sleep at all last night and I called out of work for today. I’m just done. I don’t know why I expected anything to change.

Update 2:

Update to an update: apparently he had had some outbursts at work in the past which I knew, so I asked our co worker if they had footage of that since they film everything and there’s footage of a freak out and of him fucking a co worker in the back room so todays just been a great day.

Update 3:

I just wanted to give everyone an update. First off, thank you all so much for all of the support. I really just wanted to vent to the void. I didn’t expect so many people to read my post and to share their advice with me. I really do appreciate it and take every piece of advice to heart.

I was able to get another job, where I was working previously has a few sister restaurants in the area so I’m going to be working there. Long term, I do want to go back to school so that I can become a teacher, but one step at a time. I start my new job location on Sunday, so I took a little time off. My manager was very understanding.

I went with my Dad and some friends to get some stuff while my ex was at work. I did document everything before and after. I’m working with the landlord now of how to get me off the lease and turn of everything else that was in my name. I did take the modem, and shut off the internet for good.

I got lots of angry messages/calls/voicemails from my ex that night when he came home from work. I decided to stay with a friend this week and I’m very glad that I did because he showed up to my parents house looking for me and they had to call the police to get him to leave.

Now that I explained everything to them, they understand and have been very helpful. I still feel bad that my decisions have lead to them having to deal with this in some way.

I still need to find a lawyer, that’s tomorrows project. I know it’s just the beginning. I’m trying not to get overwhelmed and I’m trying to stay strong. I have slept some, so that’s improvement but it still sucks. I know I did the right thing and I do feel relieved. I just feel like there’s a long road ahead.

Sources: Reddit
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