Woman shocked when husband of 7 years admits; 'I regret getting you pregnant.' UPDATED 3X

When this woman is concerned about her husband's reaction to her pregnancy, she asks the internet:

"My husband regrets getting me pregnant...What do I do?"

My husband of 7 years and I are expecting a baby but he's lost almost all excitement and it's breaking my heart.

He's always wanted to be a daddy from the day we started dating but I have a long term chronic illness so we made sure this little baby was very planned and we had everything set up to help me face the challenges that come with a harder pregnancy.

At first he was so excited, falling asleep with his hand on my tummy and just genuinely over the moon but then I started to get sick.

All that love and excitement turned to fear and he blames himself. I keep trying to tell him that I knew all of this could happen before we started trying and I made the choice to go through with this.

He keeps saying " if it's you or the baby I'm saving you I can't live without you" and "you could of happily lived your life with a pack of dogs and me, this is my fault" and it just breaks my heart.

He said "pregnancy is meant to be a magical experience and this is anything but magic" he's already planned to get a vasectomy and doesn't want another baby or to try again if this one doesn't make it.

I know it hasn't been easy on him watching me get everything that could go wrong in a pregnancy go wrong for me and I know he feels helpless but I'm scared he's resenting our baby for putting me through this.

I wish there was some way I could reassure him and get his excitement back. All I can do is let him help me in any way that makes him feel like he has some control in a situation where no one can control what's going to happen next.

I wish I wasn't sick but that's just part of who I am and he unfortunately fell inlove with the sick girl. We're each other's whole world and I hate that I can't give him the magical experience he wanted. I wish I was magic.

Thanks for letting me get that off my chest. Any advice?

Before we give you OP's 3 updates, let's take a look at some of the top responses:

criemsy6b writes:

Pregnancy isn’t always magical like we’re shown on TV. It’s scary and it’s normal to not like seeing your partner suffer. My husband felt the same way at the end of my twin pregnancy when I was having problems. There were definitely times where we thought “wow, did we do the right thing?

Maybe we shouldn’t have gotten pregnant”. Your whole life is changing and it’s a huge deal and not always easy to accept when it doesn’t look like the magic you envisioned. Once the little bundle of joy is here, it all fades a way pretty quickly and you can’t imagine how you felt your life was ever complete without them.

walddenbo writes:

I wasn’t excited about our third kid because I didn’t want to see my wife go through pregnancy and the birthing process again. She had complications with both of her first pregnancies and needed emergency C sections.

I felt she was pushing the envelope too far having another and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel she was being selfish when if something went wrong she could lose the baby or worse, me and our two other kids could lose her.

There were plenty of times I just wanted to scream at her to think of what would happen to her family right in front of her if something happened to her but obviously that wouldn’t have helped so I was just on pins and needles the whole time.

Seeing her in pain and feeling helpless to do anything about it is a terrible feeling, especially for men, and especially if that person is the someone you swore to protect for the rest of your life.

Once my son was born and both he and my wife were healthy I felt differently but it was a rough couple of months and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little resentful of her for putting me through that, even though it was her body and she was the one doing the real work.

aga9 writes:

Arf that's harsh!! It is very hard on the father because men are often expected to solve issues, but here he is helpless and powerless. There is nothing he can do, and he feels like he is the one that got you in danger. That's very hard psychologically.

I'm sure once you deliver and are in good health again, it will pass. Maybe you won't get another child without couple's therapy or individual therapy for him, but he will feel better.

The thing is, for fathers (and mothers that don't carry the child) the bonding only starts after childbirth, whereas you started bonding early on. So you have something that makes it all worth it. In his eyes right now, he is only seeing it as you in danger for nothing really worth it. He knows that theoretically it will be worth it. But he doesn't feel it yet

Don't overthink it, he will come around. It's just very hard right now but you guys can make it through.

And now, OP's update:

So I had a chat with my husband like a lot of you suggested and I think we both feel a little bit better.

He told me how excited he is and that he loves our little baby already so much it's just hard for him to see the love of his life struggle.

He believes once baby and I are in the all clear and I'm making a full recovery all that fear and anxiety will go away. He apologised for worrying me because he's worried about me and explained it's just hard because he sees me at my most vulnerable when it's to much and I cant hide how hard it is.

I explained to him how even very healthy people can have a lot of problems during pregnancy and that my body us doing far better than we expected. Our medical team is really happy with where I am and how we are coping and that I understand it's the unknown that's causing the anxiety.

He seems a lot lighter now and we've really gotten to the root of his worries. Hopefully I can carry our little one full term (another 8 - 10 weeks) but if the worst happened (I had a big flare up that triggers early labour) baby is at 30 weeks and has a large medical team ready for them at any given moment so the odds are very in babies favour.

I did just want to address a few questions people have had to put your mind at ease. My condition isn't genetic so baby is perfectly healthy and we get scans and testing done to monitor him and me to make sure he's still happy swimming around in there.

We have spoken to 3 specialist and done years of research before considering all options. One specialist suggested the hormones your body creates while pregnant could possibly reprogram my neural pathways and help my condition (its a very slim chance) so we chose to try once before going down the adoption route.

My husband is very serious about the vasectomy and I respect his choice and we've decided if we want another child down the line we will either adopt or open our home to foster care.

I'm pretty sure that's all I've got for now I've been requested to update when baby comes along and let you know how I do! Keep all the positive thoughts for me I know ive definitely planned for the worst but expecting the best!

Thank you for all chatting to me and sharing your stories it genuinely helped to see we weren't alone in feeling this and that others have made it through. I value your input so much

Update 2:

I'm currently 31 weeks pregnant and my husband has been to scared to have sex with me. I'm high risk so he sees me as completely fragile and hasn't had sex with me for weeks.

Pregnancy hormones have made me twirly so we have done other things but I really missed the connection and intimacy of se%. We have such a good se% life and so in a fit of pregnancy hormones I started crying asking him to touch me.

Now this man would bend over backward to make me happy and make me happy he did. After my first clim@ he layed back ready to complete himself.

Now this is where I might of Fd up. I climbed on top and it was good, like really good! Until the gush. I didn't think much about it at the time and went to sleep. It wasn't until 4am when I was still very w@t that I thought oh no i might of Fd up.

So now I'm sitting here waiting to be tested to see if se% with my husband was just REALLY good or if he broke my waters. If the test comes back negative he will never find out I was worried or he'll won't touch me again until the baby arrives.

Im definitely going to be more careful. I'm convinced my husband to have se% with me 31 weeks pregnant don't know if he blew my mind or broke my waters

Update 3:

Just got back from the hospital, had all the testing and lots of cheeky smiles from the nurses. Turns out he's just that good folks! The cup and a half full of liquid that had me worried and my bed soaked was all him and pregnancy hormones.

He's definitely more freaked than the doctors were and he has me on a strict on my side with plenty of support if we get intimate again. though the doctors say everything is fine and se% shouldn't be a problem for us with my condition.

They reassured me I did the right thing coming in and that if any more cough gushing were to happen definitely come back and get checked again. I'm minutes away from my hospital so no one worry! I'm well looked after and my baby is super happy and healthy. Husbands just a legend and my waters didn't break.