Someecards Logo
Woman skips Christmas because her mom won't let her share bed with BF. AITA?

Woman skips Christmas because her mom won't let her share bed with BF. AITA?


"AITA for skipping Christmas with my parents since they won't treat me like an adult?"

I (F27) have been with my boyfriend (33) for almost two years now. We will be getting married eventually but it's not a priority. My mom won't let us share a bed if we come see them for any reason.

When we came over this last summer my boyfriend suggested renting a hotel so we could have privacy and a comfortable bed. It drove my mom nuts that we bypassed her little rules. She wouldn't drop it the entire time we were there. She made me promise not to do that again.

My boyfriend's mom and dad are retired to Mexico and they are really chill. So we made plans to come visit them over Christmas. They are not Christian so they don't really care when they see their son with regards to religious holidays.

We didn't tell my parents we weren't coming. My mom asked me at Thanksgiving if I was going to hold to my promise not to stay at a hotel over Christmas. I answered truthfully that I would not stay at a hotel.

I am sitting here on the balcony of my future in-laws condo looking at the Carribean waiting for sunrise and enjoying the peace and quiet. I made the mistake of going online yesterday and I saw a bunch of posts from my mom and my sisters about how I was a jerk for lying to them about my plans.

I may have been a little tipsy last night because I decided to respond. I said that it was ridiculous of them to try and tell me I couldn't share a room with my boyfriend, that I was keeping my promise by not staying at a hotel when we were there, and that if they planned on putting everything on Facebook I would be avoiding all visits for the foreseeable future.

They took down their posts when people started crapping on them for trying to control me. But some people did agree with them. Now they are texting me and calling to say I was an ahole for making them look bad.

I asked them if they were trying to make me look good with their posts? They stopped for a while but there were more texts and voice mail this morning. I'm kind of liking the idea of skipping out on the drama from now on. But I miss my dad and he is blameless in this. AITA?


I'm having trouble wrapping my head around a couple of things that keep being repeated. How was staying at a hotel so we didn't break her rules not the adult choice? How many of you guys fly across the country or drive for hours to just stay one night?

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

walnutwithteeth said:

ESH. Your mom is horribly controlling. That's not in question. But instead of saying, "I won't be spending Christmas with you this year, I'm going to the in-laws, and if I come to you again, we will stay in a hotel," you lied in such a way that they thought you'd be attending. Instead of acting in the adult manner in which you want to be treated, you behaved like a kid.

MelodyRaine said:

NTA. This falls under "If all I have to do to 'make you look like an ahole' is tell the truth, that means you are acting like an ahole."

KitchenDismal9258 said:

NTA. Don't forget that your dad chose to marry your Mom and he's still in the relationship. You don't have to torture yourself with your mother just to keep your dad in your life.

He may have some balls to stand up to her and see you without her. If he doesn't he may be colateral damage as you may need to cut contact with him too. He's not blameless if he's fine for your mom to be saying and doing this sort of childish behavior. That makes him an enabler.

stollentrollin said:

NTA. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Your mom and sister made themselves look bad, controlling and entitled, taking your family issues to the book of faces.

Do yourself a favor, block them and don't interact with them, as it would validate a discussion about your or their behavior, which is plain and simple unnecessary and unacceptable since your life choices are not theirs to discuss and especially not to punish.

gover2087 said:

I can understand them not wanting you and your BF to be rocking the room in their house, but it’s ridiculous that they demand you not get a hotel. Everybody involved are adults and everybody has to understand that everybody does the horizontal tango. Your mom acts oblivious to this and tries to prevent this as much as she can. NTA.

The opinions were fairly divided for this one, but most people were on OP's side. What's your advice for this family?

Sources: Reddit
© Copyright 2024 Someecards, Inc

Featured Content