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Woman stays with cheating husband for 10 years to make sure she receives alimony. AITA?

Woman stays with cheating husband for 10 years to make sure she receives alimony. AITA?


"AITA for staying in a marriage for 10 years to make sure I got alimony?"

My ex husband (35M) and I (29F) had been married for ten years. He was the only child of an elderly couple. I have taken care of his mother for my entire marriage since she needed a caretaker.

Five years ago, I found out he was cheating. We had signed a prenup that said that we would leave with the assets we had come into the marriage with. I didn’t have a full time job because I had to take care of his mother. I didn’t get a salary from my caretaking but I spent my entire marriage taking care of her and her various health issues. It didn’t have a clause against cheating.

I spoke to a couple of lawyers and they said that even if the prenup is thrown out, which it may or may not be depending on the judge, my husband has an inheritance from his father and can afford to bleed me dry in court. However, the prenup had a 10 year clause.

I stayed for another five years. Some people chose to stay and reconcile. I chose to stay and make sure I don’t get screwed over. I filed for divorce after ten years of marriage and my husband was blindsided. The assets were split down the middle and I was essentially compensated for the caretaking that I did.

He is calling me cruel and calculating for what I did. He is also scrambling because there is no one left to care for his ailing mother. I told him to use his inheritance to actually buy her a caretaker that she can’t take advantage of. I have a boyfriend and I’m really happy with my life but I still get messages from my ex husband blaming me. AITA?

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

Bourbon_Bro1 said:

Lol NTA l, looks like you got compensated for time served. I suppose a question for your husband is. Was it also calculated when arranging meet ups with his mistress because he knew his wife would be busy with his mother? Don't marry the bf, drain that alimony.

MilkChocolate21 said:

NTA. You married at 19. I bet you didn't have independent counsel review the prenup. A lot of people sign prenups in situations where there is financial imbalance, and do it without understanding that they should have their own lawyer to review and negotiate fair terms.

I'm sure he knew what he was doing and you did not. So the fact that you realized there was in fact a loophole that could get you a fair settlement is great. Well played. He would have left you high and dry otherwise.

br3ak1n9battman said:

First off as a dude. I love this. NTA. Now for the ex husband, "would ya look at that it's the consequences of my own actions." He f'd around and found out. You twisted that knife of revenge SLOW and I love it. Live your best life.

fakit333 said:

NTA, caretaking is one of the most difficult things anybody will ever do and until someone is in that situation they really have no clue. He's really in for a joy ride the joyride of his life and unless he hides the money or any assets his mom has he can't put her in a nursing home and not pay.

Good job it had to be hard waiting an additional 5 years and being a caretaker as someone who took care of my mother until the day she took her last breath I can tell you you deserve every penny you got out of that.

RNGinx3 said:

NTA. All prenups need a cheating clause, on both sides. But I digress. He used you, you lost your career, and he thought he had you under his thumb. You played the long game, and I applaud your patience and cool-headedness, because I'm sure I would have lost my temper. Well done!

Famous_Variation4729 said:

NTA. Elderly care is expensive. 10 years is a VERY long time to be a caregiver. Its actually sh$tty you had to stay for 5 years with a cheater to make sure you were compensated for your labor. Oh also f that guy. Forget this and chill.

Everyone was on OP's side for this one. What's your advice for these exes?

Sources: Reddit
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