Woman suspects that her 54-year-old dad is dating her best friend, 'AITA for jumping to conclusions?'
"AITA for suspecting that my best friend is sleeping with my dad?"
My dad (54) and my bsf (20F) let's call her Sophie, have been acting suspiciously for quite a long time. I've always sensed a little tension between the two of them that sparks up whenever she comes over, with my dad finding ridiculous excuses to leave the room/house and her getting all awkward, I always attributed it to them being introverted. I know this is not enough to reason to suspect if something is going on, but things have been playing out weirdly since then.
I and Sophie became friends in 2018 and have been close ever since, she's almost as close as family and helped me get through 2019, that's when my parents got divorced. My younger brother (19M) and I have been living with Dad ever since the divorce. Sophie and I used to hang out at least five to six times a week, but lately it has come down to us hanging out only twice a week, uni being the reason behind it and I respect that hence I did not pry any further.
Coming back to the topic, the last time we hung out, it was her place, and we were getting down to our pjs after an engagement party we'd attended together. The plan was to catch up on our movie nights we'd skipped for the past two months. So she was taking a shower while I sat in my pjs on her bed and that's when I noticed a bracelet on her nightstand, found it to be really pretty but by the time she came back out I had already long forgotten about it.
Fast forward to three days ago, my dad and I were tracking the shipment details of my aunt's birthday gift when a VERY FAMILIAR BRACELET caught my eye in the past orders list (amazon has it) and I immediately recognized it as the one I'd seen on Sophie's nightstand or at least it was completely identical to it.
Another reason that fueled this very weird suspicion was when my dad abruptly canceled on a family dinner about two months ago calling it a work emergency, so we simply decided to reschedule it. Having no other plans Incalled up Sophie at around seven pm, only for it to be answered on the first ring.
I don't even get to say the first word when she (almost breathlessly??) asks me about my day and I do tell her about the canceled dinner and ask her about her plans, which she declines by saying she had to meet up with her mom that same day at around eight.
And then something weirder happens. I hear Elton Johns' tiny dancer play in the background (which is my dad's ringtone) followed by an abrupt silence. All this happens while I sit beside my brother who had just dialed Dad. I asked her about that sound and she said that it was probably the Google Home malfunctioning.
I wish this was the only reason why I was suspicious of them. About two weeks ago, I invited Sophie to a family dinner with us. My younger brother was bringing his long-time girlfriend so my dad said it would be a good idea to see if Sophie wanted to join us too, which was odd but I thought he just didn't want me to feel left out. I did end up inviting her and she said she'd join us.
My dad is always in-charge of picking the restaurants, and this time he decided to pick out a new place a few miles from our neighborhood and it coincidentally turned out to be the place Sophie was pestering me to go to with her.
I thought this was a lucky coincidence, but I still couldn't help but find it a little odd. Things got weird when my dad went on to order the food. I picked out a dish and so did my brother and his girl, and dad didn't wait for Sophie to say what she wanted to have and ordered a dish for her. She didn't seem to have a problem with it, which was crazy cause Sophie is a very picky eater and also because it is kinda of rude to order for someone without asking them.
I confronted my dad then and there and he said that he didn't realize it and just took a lucky guess. Sophie seemed very visibly tensed and uncomfortable just kept asking me to "let it go." Since I didn't wanna spoil everyone's mood so I didn't stretch it out further.
I confronted Sophie about it yesterday and was met with an argument which included her denying all the claims and calling me crazy for even thinking about the possibility of it but she ends her sentence by saying "even if we were how would that affect you in any way or form, I would still be your best friend and he your dad." Which I did not pay heed to in the heat of the argument but that came back to me later in the day. AITA for jumping to conclusions?? or am I really going crazy?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
LTG231 said:
The “even if we were” statement sounds like an admission to me. I’m sorry this is happening but I say trust your instinct! And Please update us lol.
I_pegged_your_father said:
Definitely agree with some of the people saying to confront your dad. BEST case scenario (more stressful but more results) confronting both simultaneously gotta trap 'em in a room somehow and maybe pull ur bro in on it and get em talking just be blunt point blank ask em if they’re hooking up. As someone with frequent family drama forced communication is the most effective way to go."
l3ex_G said:
Nta talk to your father. Him dating your friend is disgusting and a huge violation of your relationship with him. I personally would cut off my friend and tell my dad it’s predatory for him to sleep with your friend. He met her as a teen. I wouldn’t be able to see my dad the same way.
serene8814 said:
NTA. INSANE. They're trying to gaslight you into thinking they're not together. It is beyond disgusting for a man to have a thing with someone 34 Yeats younger than him who is literally his daughters best friend. OP needs to get out of the house immediately and confront and expose the dad. The bsf could be getting groomed cause she's still young. I'm not saying she's not at fault, but she could get a benefit of doubt.
Exciting-Protection2 said:
You’re not crazy and NTA. I agree you should ask your dad. I like the open-ended approach someone suggested. “Are we going to talk about you and Sofie?” By the way, you have every right to feel however you feel about this: whatever that is. Don’t let anyone tell you how you should feel about it. That’s not up to anyone but you.
waxonwaxoff87 said:
Your dad is screwing your best friend who he has known as your friend since she was 13. She is lying to you and dismissing what she knows to be a huge deal. Cut them both off. NTA.