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Woman would rather let BF be houseless than move in with him after 5 months of dating.

Woman would rather let BF be houseless than move in with him after 5 months of dating.


My (30F) boyfriend (32M) wants to move in with me because he can't afford rent.

kitti_wampus writes:

I (30F) have been dating my boyfriend (32M) for about five months. I own my home as I purchased it this February, and it is my second home. I made a good amount on my first home and put most of that money towards this house. I have a promising career, producing about 80K, and my mortgage is $1,500.

My boyfriend rents a room from his friend who owns a townhouse. His friend travels a lot for work and is hardly ever home. Maybe one week out of the month or so. My boyfriend pays $800 a month, which includes utilities. It's a nice place, and my boyfriend also makes good money, probably around 60-70k.

So recently, his friend considered selling his townhouse and moving in with his girlfriend. He told my boyfriend this, who came over one night, sprung all of it on me, and told me he should move in with me.

I was shocked as we have only been dating for five months, and I don't think that is long enough time for me to think about letting him move in.

I tried talking about it with him and told him I needed time to think it over. He was visibly annoyed but let it go. Yesterday, he texted me that his friend plans to list his townhouse in October, and my boyfriend must be out by the end of October.

My boyfriend doesn't have a lease or anything, but he texted me and said he needs to move in with me short term as that's not enough time to find an apartment.

I texted him back and said we could talk that night. When he came over last night, he was ranting/begging me to let him move in. He didn't make enough money to get an apartment, and it would be less stressful for him to move in with me.

If he could help pay half, it would be good for me too. I shut down that idea and told him we had not been together long enough for me to want to take that step. He got upset and called me heartless, and then left.

He texted me today and apologized but still asked that I think about it for a few more days. I told my friend and coworker today about everything, and he said that I'm an a%$hole for not letting him move in.

I was shocked, but my coworker kept saying that people can't afford to live alone in this economy and that five months is long enough to move in together. I didn't say anything but just remained quiet. So, AITA for telling my boyfriend he can't move in with me?

Here are some of the top comments from the post.

OGMikeGyver says:

NTA (Not the A#%hole). Five months is not long enough. If things go south, how do you get him out? Will he have a rental agreement? Then, you have to follow tenant law. If not, and he receives mail at your house, then it's a whole different issue.

His pushy nature and not respecting your clear boundaries are concerning, too. He can find a room for rent on Craigslist, and he's just looking for an easy way out. Hold your ground.

Schopenhauer_Down says

NTA, Don't listen to your co-workers (and don't take relationship advice from them again). You're not obligated to take in your boyfriend. And his ranting, annoyed response speaks volumes about his character - like he can't take 'no' for an answer. Also, if you let him in for the 'short term,' he won't leave.

Hippopotasaurus-Rex says:

NTA is he 32 or 12? He’s throwing a tantrum. Let him, but decide how you feel about that.

What do you think should have happened? Should OP's boyfriend be allowed to move in or was she right to stand her ground?

Sources: Reddit
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