Woman tells fiancé; 'I'm NOT continuing to pay the mortgage of a house you bought.' AITA?
"AITA if I tell my fiancé I don’t want to continue to live and pay the mortgage of a house they bought?"
Bear with me this is a lot. I (42F) moved in with my fiance (46M) into a home him and his ex bought together. I have always told him that this is temporary for us because I want us to buy a home together. The house is only in her name but we pay the mortgage payments.
He made a written agreement with her that he will get the house after it’s paid for. This came up because he was giving her the money to pay the mortgage and one day we were served with pre foreclosure notice. In essence she wasn’t paying.
So the house had to be refinanced which extended the mortgage by years and also raised the mortgage 400 dollars. I was pissed! He decided we should take on the extra 400.
Now we are paying the 2200 mortgage and she is reaping the benefits of her credit being brought back up. I have no ties to it and won’t get anything out of it because they have control. So AITA for stating I’m going to move forward with buying my own house and he can deal with that?
Edit : they both owned the house in the divorce he said she could have it … she couldn’t handle it so he just took over and moved in. They didn’t change any paperwork so the mortgage and deed is in her name.
They have a written notorized agreement that he will pay and has all rights and responsibilities to said home. Also in the event it is sold he gets all monies...
Let's see what readers thought:
fahga6 writes:
NTA and unless there is a contract that states he owns the house when it is paid off there is nothing that stops her from saying hey you paid rent and I own the house.
I would walk away from that situation and definitely buy your own house. If he wants to come with you and pay you rent each month great for him and you. Why can't he finance the home in his name? He could just buy the house from her and make the payments on his own mortgage.
And FYI you can't just refinance a mortgage if it is in foreclosure. It has to be paid up in full to move forward at all. You can't refinance a home that is behind in payments, then you have to prove you can make the payments to qualify.. something is stinky here..
penelopssthoots writes:
He shouldn't make payments on a house he only gets AFTER it's paid for... she should sell it to him now and he can get his own mortgage in his name. I wouldn't pay for a house in HER name or HIS name, but only for a house in MY name.
NTA. He's being played (and you are too). There is NO reason he can't assume the title/mortgage in his name and get a mortgage to pay her in full now. Her not paying on the house means she's not keeping up her end of the agreement (she is taking the money and doesn't care if he ends up with nothing, despite the agreement).
fleezz writes:
So you are paying for a house that you will never own, not even partly? Am I reading that right? Why would you do that? Why would your partner want you to do that?
Why don't you two buy a house together, with you two being joint owner? This is so weird. This makes no sense whatever. Not from your perspective, I mean. From his and hers, yes, because you subsidise them. I smell a rat.....
illustriosuc writes:
Assuming they actually a written agreement between them, YOU are not part of any agreement so any money you pay will not legally benefit you. ALWAYS have a written contract with anyone you’re not married to when you contribute financially.
I don’t know why the ex didn’t execute a Quit Claim deed to him. But the fact that she violated their agreement by not paying makes me suspicious that there even is one. He could’ve taken her to court.
Get your own home and do not put anyone’s name on it but your own. If you get married, have a prenup that will protect your investment in your house and then keep a record of what you put into it.
ETA: Why you don’t want to put your fiancé’s name on your house: if there is a contract he and he violates it, or if he’s on the refinanced mortgage and they default, they will look to any other property where he‘s on the deed and possibly put a lien on it. PROTECT YOURSELF.