'AITA for saying my MIL acts as though she’s in a relationship with my husband?' UPDATED

Relationships with mother-in-laws can be famously tumultuous, but sometimes they cross the line between passive aggressive comments at the holidays to full-blown creepiness...

So, when conflicted pregnant woman decided to vent to the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's "Am I the A#^hole" about her monster-in-law, people were dying to hear every detail of the family drama.

"AITA for saying my MIL acts as though she’s in a relationship with my SO?"

I F26 and my husband M32 is a compete momma's boy. He’ll call his mother for hours and talk to her and spend time with her more than he does with me. I recently hit my 6 month mark in my pregnancy, and asked my husband to help me get ready with all sorts of things the baby.

He said that would interfere with time spent with his mom and replied with “yeah it might, but I need you more right now and would you if you did some other time”. He gave me an offended look and said “you know my mom comes before you?"

I was kind of shocked but I explained to him that we just needed to get ready with a few things here and there and that I wouldn’t need more help later in the week. He just ignored me and went to his mom’s house.

After a while, she called me and said “I won," in a snarky voice and I just bite my tongue and said “maybe I’ll win next time” and she hung up.

I could hear my husband laughing in the background and that just angered me for while and I was walking around lifting my fold up upstairs. It hurt like hell, by got it done. I decided to paint the nursery walls another day.

Our anniversary rolls around the corner a couple weeks later and I woke up and got my husband’s gift ready that day and cooked his favorite meal. He came back from work and I was upstairs in the bathroom and he left.

I got all eager and happy that he was bringing some sort of surprise and waited in the living room. 30 minutes go by and I call him saying where are you. He replies with “oh I’m at my moms house."

I don’t appreciate what I said about this so don’t go to hard in the comments. “She might as well be having your kid you clearly seem like your with her."

I hung up the phone and it was probably in speaker phone and minutes later I get a bunch of text from them saying that I shouldn’t be jealous, I shouldn’t respect my mother in law, and that I should maybe find something to do instead of being a bitter a-hole. AITA?

Here's what the jury of internet strangers had to say about this mess:

Lady-Athena1987 said:

YTA to yourself. He’s told you and showed you many times that you and the is baby are not important. Why are you still there hoping for change?

Tiffany_Case said:

Bro. Dude. Homie. I stopped reading at "you know my mum comes before you." Absolutely tf not. Get out of that relationship and start collecting child support. NTA.

Professional_Owl3326 said:

NTA! It's a time to get a good divorce lawyer and look into getting primary custody cause I have a feeling he would try to take the baby away from you so him and his mom can raise the baby together.

Wishiwashome said:

HUGE NTA BUT WTH are you married to this man? How long did you know him before you married him? Surely he behaved the same way. As long as she is alive, YOU will NEVER “win”. Almost like they used a surrogate to have a baby. Weird.

WielderOfAphorisms said:

This is disgusting behavior. Just let her have him…entirely. NTA.

It looks like everyone was unanimously creeped out by this overbearing mother and her textbook Momma's Boy of an adult son. Luckily, the post was updated later to include more details:

Update from OP after reading the comments:

I read through the comments, oh boy. My husband and I have been together for 5 years and we’re married for 1/2 years. I never really noticed things like this because of me being the blind person I am to these kinda things.

I think it all started when we got married because as soon as we did she lived with us for about a month before “leaving my all grown son."

I think my MIL is competing with me and I might even have to give my husband and ultimatum because after reading these comments things could only get worse from here. I’ve talked to my husband after I posted this (didn’t tell him about it) and asked why he visits his mom so often.

His only response was that she was an important person in his life and he’s great full to her. Bulls#^$t.

I’ve now only realized that my husband has been acting as if he’s married to his mom. I’m seriously considering getting a divorce because of what I been reading. My MIL has no intentions of changing her behavior. Thank you all of the input too I’m gonna have a long discussion with my MIL and my husband.

Update 2 from OP:

I talked to him again and I said that I felt like he treated his mom more than a wife he did me. I told him that he either had to stop that or I wouldn’t be in this marriage with him anymore. He started to cry and said that he would change. Part of me felt bad that he would cry in front of me like that but also that was good.

I’m 6 months pregnant for f%$$s sake and I need him in me and my babies life and as for my MIL she completely denied taking away her son’s attention from me even though she’s been the one to initiate every time he goes to her house.

I’ve spoken to her about what she’s been doing and that I don’t appreciate her taking my husband away when I need him in my life during the pregnancy. She just laughed and said you won’t win that easily. I told her there is no winning or losing.

I said that if I had to compete with her for my husbands presence and attention, I wouldn’t be calling her my MIL and that my baby wouldn’t be around her for those reasons as well. She just hung up and I’m waiting for her response. My husband started painting the nursery and is going to take some time off work because of this. Thank you all for your wonderful support

Here's what people had to say to OP after the update:

Separate_Kick3186 says:

OP, I saw your final update. It's still a dumpster fire. I would be scared of the future if I were you, this woman will definitely poison your child against you. You need more spine to deal with this, go NC and don't let her near your child, your husband can go to mommy-wife any time he wants.

Just be prepared for the worst case scenario, the woman sounds like a nightmare. And have an exit plan ready.

I_suck__ says:

Why are you doing this to yourself? You deserve better. You can't fix him. There's men out there who would put you and your child above their own mom. He is only changing because you said you'd leave but once he's comfortable again he'll be doing the same thing. You're letting those two people toss you around...