Woman tells mother-in-law to 'shut up' during Christmas dinner, 'I just kind of snapped.' AITA?
"AITA for telling my mother-in-law to shut the f up during Christmas dinner?"
I (31F) have been with my husband (34M) for 6 years, and we got married in 2023. I have a 9 year old son from a previous relationship who my husband treats as if he were his own.
My son's father and I are civil, and therefore, he spends an equal amount of time living with either one of us. Now about my MIL, she is super religious, and has never really warmed up to the fact that her son is with someone who had a kid out of wedlock, and therefore, isn't the nicest person to me and my child.
I bit my tongue about it for so long because usually, their interactions would be very brief, plus, I'm an adult, I can handle someone not liking me. But this Christmas, I just kind of snapped. So this year, my son was with me & my husband on Christmas Day, and we hosted Christmas dinner for my husband's family.
The entire night, my MIL was making subtle digs at me over things such as my cooking and the Christmas decor. I let it roll off of my back as much as possible, knowing that she wouldn't be in my house for much longer.
However, when she started taking shots at my son, like how he "shouldn't be here because he wasn't family," is when I had enough. Looking her in the eye, I said "you had three baby daddies by the time you were 30, so how about you shut the f up?"
This effectively shut her up, but since then, I have been getting messages saying that I took it too far, and that I should apologize for what I said. Looking back, I do think I was a bit harsh, but I don't think that I'm entirely in the wrong for sticking up for me and my kid, so AITA?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
SoSayWeAllx said:
NTA, but where is your husband who should be defending you and your child?
Fabulous-Seat-2007 said:
Nta, but your husband is for not standing up to his mom.
Stranger-Tastes said:
NTA - What do people mean by "Took it too far?" She started that line of conversation, she got put in her place. Good for you for taking it exactly where it needed to be taken.
Crystalsnoow said:
She was throwing shade the entire night and then had the nerve to say your son didn't belong? That's crossing a huge line. Its one thing to be petty to you, but bringing a kid into it is just wrong. I get that you snapped, and honestly, good for you. She needed to be put in her place.
MyPath2Follow said:
NTA. Speaking as a Christian here - what she's doing is DISGUSTING. I'd let her know, point blank, that Jesus would be horrified by her behavior. Remind her that Jesus, while not condoning sin itself, still treated the sinner with dignity and respect.
If she perceives you as a sinner, as a Christian she should be treating you with love and grace. I'm so sorry that you have to deal with that. Your son is a precious gift and your mil is awful.
Clairebeaxx said:
NTA. Protecting your son from family toxicity is top tier parenting. Maybe next time she'll think twice before making family gatherings her burn book session.
Past_Gear_4310 said:
NTA. Old school says if you can’t say anything nice…the other one is about glass houses and throwing the first rock . DO NOT APOLOGIZE. She was being hurtful to your son. The discussion with your husband should be about if you are going to spend the rest of your marriage, letting her abuse, your son.